Friday, November 20, 2009

Update and Counselor Info

Well, in order to not "go off" on D., I had my friend call. My friend Monica, works in customer service and always gets results. She called D., and after speaking to her discovered that all 65 pages have been faxed to the insurance company. Monica asked her if every paper got there, and she said she is sure it did, otherwise they would have called her. I am going to call K, tomorrow or Monday to make sure they got all the documents they needed.
Thanks for the prayers and well wishes ladies, keep them coming!

I checked Travel.ocity today, and the prices have decreased! hey are now $412 total, nonstop, round trip. I have decided that I am buying them on Monday after I speak to the insurance company. What do you think?

I also went to the therapist today and after relaying the entire ordeal with my babies, and the drama that has since ensued, my feelings were validated. nothing is wrong with me and I am a strong individual and I am handling it very well. However, she could tell that the people around me are causing me anxiety and stress. She said in their mind, they are trying to help, but it does not seem that way to me. In fact, I told her they were busybodies. She said as someone who is grieving, I have a tough job. Not only do I have to make people comfortable around me, but I have to teach them how to react and what to say and not to say.
She states that my responses to these "so-called well-intentioned" individuals is brusque, and she would recommended that I speak to a therapist in order to change how their "advice" affects me.
She said even though I am the same Marie, the recent events spur people to take a second look. She used the analogy of the old man who always sits on the porch. Once his wife died, people no longer remember that he sat on the porch before she died. All they can think of now is, "the poor old man is sitting on the porch is lonely". This is the same with me holding the babies in church.
She also said people react to cues. At home, I can be me and my dh can see my cues and know how to react. However, in public, I don't give off any cues and people don't know how I feel, so they don't know how to react.
She was quite helpful, and shed some light. I am actually happy that I went. Thanks ladies!

So, I am not going to therapy because I am having problems handling my grief, I am going to therapy because of the people around me who are stressing me out and causing anxiety! The therapist is going to teach me how to react appropriately when these people approach me - after all I cant tell everybody to "buzz off".

I came across this quote today that got me thinking. I am the master of my faith, and the captain of my soul. Only I can determine how long and how I should grieve. Only I can make the decision to put the pictures away, and only I can facilitate my ultimate healing.

Where is my expected end?

7 comments:

  1. Very good, Marie. I am happy for you. It sounds like things are slowly getting better. I don't know what to say about buying the tickets but I will be praying for you. I am glad you went to the therapist and that she was able to help you with these people. It sure would make life simpler if we could tell people to 'buzz off'. lol

    Sending you *big* hugs

    ReplyDelete
  2. *hugs Marie* I am glad to hear all is going well. You will probably know more about whether or not you feel comfortable buying the tix once you talk to the insurance company. I am thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so glad that you were able to talk to that therapist! I'm sure it feels so good to be reassured by a professional that your feelings are okay and perfectly normal!! (Even though you knew that and we knew that already!!!) :o)

    I'm sorry that you have to go through this therapy to deal with how others are treating you ON TOP OF working through your grief...that seems a little unfair. They are the ones who need the help...*sigh*...

    Thinking about you as your journey progresses...phone calls, insurance companies and plane tickets...oh my!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. yay for your friend helping you out. and, i your counselor sounds great. i feel like i spend 99% of the time in my sessions talking about other people's actions too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brave girl... Keep up your faith; it will never steer you wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The analogy about the old man is a good one, I hadn't heard that one before. And again, there is nothing wrong with you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. "So, I am not going to therapy because I am having problems handling my grief, I am going to therapy because of the people around me who are stressing me out and causing anxiety! The therapist is going to teach me how to react appropriately when these people approach me - after all I cant tell everybody to "buzz off"."

    Oooooh, I like this!! Maybe I should go too ;)

    BTW, I'm proud of you.

    ReplyDelete