Saturday, November 7, 2009

If You Have Nothing To Say........

Why do people think hey always know the right thing to say? Do they not think before they speak? Do they reflect on what they say after they have said it?
Unfortunately, I was not blessed with the greatest of inlaws, but they are all christians and think they know it all. Face.Book is a great social network, but it can be a curse as well. We all know that FB gives us the opportunity to express what we are doing or how we are feeling at the moment. We are free to put whatever we want on our page, because it is our page, and frankly if people don't want o read or see whe we have put up, they can click the X a the top of the page and log off.

I posted this on my status yesterday: Marie W is thinking of stepping out on faith and buying those plane tickets even though the insurance co. has not called me back. Hmmm.
My SIL responds with: "IS" the "SUBSTANCE" of "THINGS" hoped 4! When ur going after it just remember that's the same faith that can get u ur healing! Love u sis!
We have had the discussion of "healing" several times. I know that God answers prayers and is able to change the very impossible. I have been witness to it, I have seen it, and it has happened in my life several times. When he heals and steps in, my faith is renewed a thousand times more. We are aware as well, that he does not always answer prayers in the way we want him to. He will eventually answer your prayer, but it may be in a way that will be a blessing to us, and a blessing to his glory.
When faced with the knowledge that we may lose our babies, we pray without ceasing. The entire time that I was on bedrest, I prayed healing over my cervix several times a day. It may take years for me to understand why he did not answer my prayer, but I know he did what was best,
Saying this, I prayed for healing and it did not happen. I have accepted that my eventual healing is going to take some other form aka TAC. My SIL is adamant that all I have to do is pray and the Lord will heal if I only have faith. I did have faith, but no healing came.
Does this mean, I did not pray enough? Does this mean I did not have enough faith?

People need to make sure that they are aware of every situation before they jump to conclusions. I know the comment was not meant maliciously, but do not say that to a bereaved parent who prayed often when pregnant. I know I may be reading too much into it, but for some reason this comment aggravated me.

Sorry if I am rambling. I just had to get it out.

Where is my expected end?


  1. Marie, you know I can totally relate to and understand what you are trying to express. Faith is definitely something that we, as parents who have lost,struggle with daily. But God knows this. He above ANYONE understands that we don't struggle to grasp, hold onto and understand Faith intentionally. He knows that we want more than anything to have the Faith bursting in us. It doesn't matter how everyone else "thinks" we should handle our Faith. ((HUGS))

  2. I have felt this way about so many comments made by my MIL and SIL. I'm not good at articulating why these comments bother me, and I so appreciate reading when somone else struggles with this as well.

    Always thinking of you.

  3. I would have been aggravated too! It's hard to see the perfection of His will from where we sit sometimes. Some people might mistake that for our lack of faith, but true faith involves trusting Him when things don't go the way you wanted. That's what I have read in your blog, you trust our Heavenly Father in spite of all your heartache.


  4. I know exactly how you feel on this, Marie!! I have a friend who just tells me that I have to be patient...have to wait...have to trust...just be still...ahhh!! I feel like these last five and a half years all I have done was prayed, trusted God, been patient, prayed for healing. I don't need someone to tell me to wait longer. Oh, I prayed for God's healing and had faith after my water broke early, and my son still died. That doesn't mean I didn't have faith. My body just doesn't work normally, I know that, and I also know that God can heal it if He chooses to. But...that does not stop me from taking the steps I feel like, after much prayer, God has led me to (TAC, IVF, etc).
    Some people just don't get it, and sadly, it is the christians that say the things that are the most hurtful!
    I'm so glad you are getting the TAC--I believe it is all going to work out...and I know that your expected end will come SOON because of it!!! Love you and praying for you!

  5. I try to look at our losses as the only way I could have all my children. Our babies are God's and, to Him, a lifetime is a second and a second is a lifetime. For us, the time drags... But not in heaven... If having our babies for a short period of time was the only way I could have and love them all, then I have to take that time and be joyous for it. I asked God to make me a mommy... He did that. Time and time again. It hurts that I didnt get to watch our babies grow up but I wouldnt change anything if it meant not having the time I did have with them.

    I'm sorry for the hurtful comments. I know people are trying to be supportive but it sucks when they do more harm than good.

  6. Marie, *hugs* you have faith and you are right. God may not answer our prayers in a way that makes sense to us now, but one day we will understand what has happened and why. Feel free to vent anytime. We are here for you.

  7. It's easy to make such comments when you don't know firsthand the pain of it all. Words are very easy.