Oh give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his mercy endures for ever! Psalm 118:1
I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Today is supposed to be a day when we give thanks for our many blessings, spend it with our family and be enveloped in love. For me and so many others, it is a day of what I call "Broken Dreams". I title it such, because when we first find out we are expecting, we immediately start dreaming. We dream of what our babies will look like, we dream of the things we will do with them, what type f personality they will have, the clothes we will dress them in, their first Easter, their first Thanksgiving, and their first Christmas/Hanukkah. Well, today I will not be dressing my babies in their first Thanksgiving outfit and sharing them with family. I will not be beaming with pride at the noises they make or the smiles they give my loved ones, I will not experience their little fists clutching my finger. Instead, I have a broken heart, broken memories, and broken dreams. I laid in bed last night forcing the tears away. The only thing I could whisper was "Why?" and though I will never have an answer, I force myself to give thanks. I remind myself to be thankful for the blessings I do have, and that in everything (no matter how hard it may be) I must give thanks.
So today I give thanks for;
1. My broken heart - It makes me stronger and makes me realize that I can survive anything
2. My broken memories - the memories of my babies are bittersweet, but they were beautiful and perfect, and they bring a smile to my face.
3. My broken dreams - they are simply just deferred for now. I will always have the memories of my beautiful children.
I hope today find you all in good spirits, and from my family to yours (Larry, Marie, Alyssa-Joy and Evan) I wish you a happy Thanksgiving.
Thanking HIM for my expected end (soon to come).