Sunday, November 22, 2009

A Mother Will Fight for Her Child

Thanks for the comments ladies! I have not used the response yet, but I am sure I will soon.

I am thinking about making a dessert for dh and myself for Thanksgiving. One requirement, it must be easy to make. Any ideas?

I am a week away from AJ's angelversary. Every time I think about it, I break out into a sweat (literally). It does not help that I would have been full term and expecting Evan any day now. I know this week is going to be especially hard for me. If you would all please remember AJ with me this Sunday, I would really appreciate it.

One of our blog sisters recently posted about snowflakes and how they can be compared to our babies. Please check Mattie's blog when you get a chance.

I am always amazed at the amount of women who experience loss and the fact that Dr.'s don't talk about it often. Throughout my pregnancies, none of the Dr.'s I saw spoke about the possibility of losing our babies. Of course, I am sure they want to preserve our innocence, but I think it would be better if they at least be "real" with us and let us know of the possibilities.
I remember reading the book "what to expect when expecting" and the "bad stuff", the complications, are all at the back of the book. In my opinion, they should be at the front, so that we all know that pregnancies can come with complications, and that not all pregnancies end up with a bouncing baby. I remember reading the book from cover to cover several times, but I never thought any of those things would happen to me. Especially living in a time when there are so many advancements in medicine.
If I could write my own book, it would be titled, "Pregnancy: Not always a Bed of Roses".

Knowing that all these complications can occur, our natural instinct is still to fight for our children. Why else would be lay on our backs for months, just to give our babies a chance? Why else would we stick stuff up our vajayjay's or stick ourselves over and over? Why else would we drown our organs by drinking gallons of water daily? We are fighting for our children.
This is even more so when we get a devastating diagnosis from the Dr.'s who tell us our pregnancies are not viable or our little ones will not survive after birth? Why else do we choose not to terminate and live on hope, faith, and prayers? Why else do we put our lives in jeopardy and risk infection or even life threatening sepsis? We will always fight for our children - no matter if the outcome looks bleak, we will do whatever it takes.

Because we have experienced loss or even multiple losses, this instinct only gets stronger. With the courage that we have, we move forward armed with knowledge that the next time (and trust me there will be a next time) we will, I will, do whatever it takes to protect my babies.


  1. We fight for our children from the moment they're conceived...Sometimes we risk our own lives to bring them into the world...even fighting down the recommendation of termination...we're their mommies and that is our job...

    You fought for both AJ and Evan and you fight now for the one that is yet to be conceived...You're a mommy through and through!

  2. Marie-You are a fighter! We will keep fighting you know. For the rest of our lives. You, I and all other baby loss mamas out there will have to fight for our babies. Fight a society that is not as willing to remember them as we are. Fight for the proper prenatal testing to help prevent losses. Fight for others to understand that our babies lived...just because others might have not felt that life, does not mean it did not exist. Thank you for that! We are fighters!(I can almost hear "Eye of the Tiger" from the movie Rocky playing in the background now!)

  3. Thanks for this post, Marie. So many things you said really spoke to me. For one, I read that book too, What to Expect When You're Expecting and you are so RIGHT! All the bad stuff is shoved in the back, I am guessing it wouldn't sell if they were just realistic. But it can happen to anyone, and it happened so unexpectedly to me. I agree that we do fight for our children against all odds. It is our instinct as mothers and it really is a beautiful beautiful gift created by our God. I love how you described in detail all the things we endure for our babies' lives. It is so worth it. Lots of love...

  4. Marie, this is so true. I can't believe how much knowledge I have gained as a result of meeting our angels' mamas. I tell my friends now and maybe its not appropriate, but I don't feel comfortable congratulating you till you take your baby home. I will wish you well and wish for a safe and healthy pregnancy as well as baby, but I am no longer naive as to what really can happen. And of course when we try to challenge our doctors the next time around they want to know why and my theory is....did it work last time? We gotta follow our momma instinct and do what is right for those yet to be conceived and those who have been conceived.

    Thank you for this post Marie. This was a great post!!

  5. I think people are afraid of telling folks about the dark side of pregnancy. After all, who wants to scare the happy pregnant woman. I wish that someone had told me. I had just read about IC before Nicholas was born and my doctor checked my cervix, which looked fine. And there was no reason to suspect it wouldnt hold. But I wish I'd known more.

    We do fight. It is our job. I think we always will. And we will keep our babies alive by fighting for others.

    I will be thinking of AJ this weekend and lighting a candle for her at church this weekend.