I have come to the conclusion that something is wrong with me. Tonight I went to Youth Service and My Pastor says he wants to speak to Larry and Me.
He started off saying that nobody came to him, he is speaking from the heart. Instead of boring you with the specifics, in a nutshell he said I must seek a counselor, and having the babies pictures up is unhealthy and I must move on.
Then he went on to say that when his daughter lost her two how he saw her one day looking at the pictures and crying her eyes out. How even to this day they don't mention "them" because they don't want to bring up any "bad" memories.
He also said that I should basically stop holding other peoples children because that does not help either.
Why do people insist on making me feel worse? Why do people insist on making me think something is wrong with me?? Let us just pretend that nothing happened and my babies, excuse me "them" did not even exist.
What the hell is wrong with my life and where is my bloody expected end??