Monday, January 25, 2010

March of Dimes & Blogversary = Giveaway!

Hello all!
<--------------------- Please pay special attention to the "siggy" on my sidebar. I will be walking in honor of my babies this year at our local March of Dimes event. Last year I had planned to walk but then found out I was pregnant, and Larry was against me participating. This year I am raising money individually and with a team. We are known as Team "In A.W.E of Them". The A.W.E. represents their initials. The monogram will be placed on the back of our shirt along with another picture. I am currently working on the T-shirt and will share when its done.
Here is the message for our team:

Every day, thousands of babies are born too soon, too small to survive and often very sick. Our team is walking in March for Babies because we want to do something about this. Not only is this an important cause, but it is a way to honor the memory of the babies we lost.

In a country where technology is so advanced, it amazes me that there is little that can be done to stop premature labor, strengthen cervixes, or ensure that babies are born close to or at term.

In 2008, our first angel grew wings after being born at 20 weeks gestation. Alyssa-Joy Katherine Wise took one breath before going to meet her maker. Eight months later, our second angel, Evan George Wise was born sleeping due to an ascending in infection that was caused by what was supposed to be a routine procedure at 20 weeks gestation.

We walk in honor of these babies that were wanted, loved, treasured, and eventually given back to Christ. We walk so that others can be educated about the possible complications that can arise due to no fault on the mothers part. We walk to support those that have lost, and for the many babies that never got the chance to walk this journey with us.

We are Team In "A.W.E" of Them. The "A.W.E." represents their initials, Alyssa-Joy Wise and Evan Wise.

If you can't walk with us, please help by donating to our team. You can do so right on this page. Thank you for helping us give all babies a healthy start!

The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality.

For more info, simply click the link to the left or click on the following link:

A friend gave me the idea of entering everyone who donates in a giveaway. My blogversary (1 year - whooo hooo!!!) was Saturday and I was planning to do a giveaway as well, but since I am soliciting donations, I am combining the giveaway.
Sooooo, for everyone who donates you will be entered to win.......................................................

This personalized memorial globe in memory of your angels or loved ones. This personalization will include the dates, names and special message. To enter, simply donate anything you can give. It is going to a great cause and your generosity will be greatly appreciated.

Please help me reach my goal in hopes that one day, medicine will be so advanced that babies will not be born prematurely and infant death will significantly decrease.

Awaiting My Expected End.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Process...

..... to God's Best! This was the title of the message at church Today. Truthfully, I have been down lately. I keep asking myself why me? What he heck did I do to become this woman? The one known as "the lady who lost her babies?" Questions that I knew I would never get an answer to..... until today.

There was a visiting minister at church, and God used him to bless me. I am going to try my best to give you a synopsis of his message, and also include what I got from the message.
He spoke of Joseph. You all know the story - he was his fathers favorite, so much that he gave him a coat of many colors. Well his brothers were jealous. This jealousy led them to throw him in the well. Genesis 37:23 &24 sums it up well; And it came to pass, when Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stripped Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colors that was on him. And they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it. Well the story did not end there. Guilt overtook them and they went back to retrieve him, but lo and behold he was not there! A passing merchant helped Joseph out of the pit and sold him to the Ishmeelites. The brothers killed a goat, dipped his coat in the blood, and told their father that Joseph was dead.

I can relate to Joseph in this scripture. He felt betrayed! He who loved his brothers and would do anything for them, was betrayed by those same people he would have died for. After losing both babies, I felt betrayed! I had served God with my whole heart. I tithed faithfully. I went to church often. I told others about his goodness. He was not just a Savior to me, he was my friend.
I can imagine how Joseph felt in the pit. In the dark, probably stank, cold pit. This is grief for me. I can hear him bargaining with his brothers to not leave him there. Been there, done that.
We read this story many times, and only focus on the fact that Joseph was in the pit. But we don't often realize that he got the palace as well. He was made ruler! The minister made me realize that before Joseph got the palace, he ended up in the pit. The pit represents grief, loss of jobs, broken marriages, every thing that darkens our hearts and brings down our spirits. The palace represents what is eventually going to come our way. I don't know about you, but I cannot wait to get my palace (or my expected end).

One of the point that stuck with me is that "every child of God must experience what we feel is failure". Absolutely, Losing my babies is my failure. I always tell Larry that I feel as if I failed. The one thing that women should be able to do, I can't even do it. But, hope always abounds. The failure (grief/trials/loss of babies/irreparable marriage) does not stay forever, God is simply setting us up for his favor.
I might look like a failure, but my failure is the process to God's best!

My victory is wrapped up in my struggles! I am going to hold on to his word, to his promises. I declared that 2010 will be the year of promises fulfilled - and I am holding him to his word. He said, I will not withhold anything good from you, and I know that he is a God that does not lie. Psalm 89:34 says, My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.
John 15:4 says, Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am going to keep casting my cares on him. I am going to stay faithful to him. I will no longer blame, but still rejoice. In spite of these "failures" I am going to praise him while I am in the pit, and hold on to hope that I will get the palace someday, somehow.
I will stop asking why, because I will never get any definite answers or answers that satisfy me, but I will continue to abide in his word, and the good thoughts he has towards me.
Romans 7:18 says, For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh), dwelleth no good thing; for to will is present with me, but how to perform which is good I find not.

The entire message blessed me today. So much that I just had to share. I leave you with this scripture; Psalm 91:14, Because you hath set your love upon me, therefore will I deliver you, I will set you on high, because you hath known my name. We serve an awesome God! We may not see our expected end yet, we may be asking if not now, when?, we may be anxious, downhearted, feel like a failure, feel like giving up, whatever it may be - he will deliver us, because we know who he is, and we know the type of God we serve. He will not withhold anything good from us, let us hold him to the promises that he made us.
I might look like a failure, but my failure is the process to God's best!
Awaiting my expected end.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Already a Miracle

Hello gang!

I have been busy all week and I am exhausted! I have said it before and I will keep saying it, I have waaaayyyy too many responsibilities at work. Next school year (God's willing) I will just teach. I need a mental break.

Little Sophia is doing well. I marvel at the miracle that she is. Mom discovered that she was spotting (which eventually led to heavily bleeding), but as usual, they tell you "its normal". Well, after not feeling the baby move and the bleeding continued, she bypassed her Dr.'s office and went to L&D. The nurse used the Doppler and discovered that Sophia's heart rate was extremely slow. An ultrasound was ordered, and the Dr;'s discovered that the placenta was tearing away and Sophia was in distress.
Mom was rushed to the OR and an emergency C-Section was done.
Sophia is a miracle. If mom had waited a couple hours, possible minutes, Sophia would not be here. This family would be experiencing another loss, and another heart broken mother would have joined us. There is a lot to be said about a mother's intuition. Had she gone to her Dr.'s office, she probably would have ended up waiting which could have ended tragically. Mom and dad are holding up well, but please continue to keep them all in your prayers.

Well hubby was called in for a meeting today with the Regional Director, his boss, and a few other colleagues from administration. It was determined that his boss had no grounds to place him on administrative leave nor threaten to fire him. The gentleman did not apologize, but Larry let him know there were no hard feelings. Despite this, the gentleman said that he will be watching Larry and the first time he slips up, he is out the door.
I am proud of my honey and the way he responded. He assured the gentleman that he has always done his job with integrity and he will continue to do so. As for the four days that he has been off, they have to pay him for it.
Ladies, your prayers worked! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! God is good. Please continue to pray for the gentleman that he leads with integrity and fairness.

I dislike the woman that I have become. I was never a worrier before losing my babies. I don't even know why I was worried. I serve a God who supplies every need. We also have our emergency fund that should cover us for a couple months should the need ever arise. I have to remind myself that I am not in control, our Creator is.

Awaiting my expected end.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Really?????? What Next????

Ladies, I need another round of prayers. Last night at work hubby had a "run in" with his new boss. This new guy started a few weeks ago and has been roughing up the employees. From what Larry said, this gentleman started poking him in the chest and demanded that he find the radio (he works in a juvenile facility). Being the christian that he is, hubby responded by saying, "please don't yell at me. We can discuss this like colleagues. I have no idea where the radio is, but I will find out". Well, the gentleman did not want to hear this ( I am assuming that he wanted Larry to react negatively, but he didn't). He told him to get the "f" out and he is on administrative leave, possible termination, and he should not come to work until he calls him. The rationale behind this move? He says Larry "did not follow his directives".
I am happy that Larry responded in the manner that he did. I told him as long as he knew in his heart that he did nothing wrong, he should not worry and God will take care of the rest. Now he has been working there for 8 years, and has built a respected reputation. He travels and does trainings, quality assurance and so on. He has tried getting a hold of the regional director and cannot get a hold of him. He spoke to another administrator and she agrees that this is not protocol, neither can he terminate him or put him on leave without just cause.
The gentleman cannot outright put him on administrative leave or fire him because there is a protocol to follow, but he can throw his weight around. I told Larry, that is he really wanted to fire him, he would have done so last night and take away his keys. I is my impression that this gentleman wants to prove that he is in charge and is throwing his weight around. What do you think? Larry is in the process of filing a grievance.
Luckily a few other staff members were there and saw the whole thing. What amazes me is that Larry does not work on the floor, but in an office - he has nothing to do with the radios.

So once again, I need your prayers. James 5:16 says, The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. We need these prayers dearly. In the past, I would not have worried, but since I have become a worrier, I am scare shit****. If he does lose his job, we can survive one my salary with *tight restrictions*. However, there will be no room to save. Especially for summers, rainy days, emergencies, etc.. My fear is that in this economy, finding a job is hard, and it will take a while to find one. Please pray that he still has a job, that the work environment won't become uncomfortable for Larry, for the gentleman to see and accept that he was wrong for putting his hands on Larry, and for the gentleman to hone his leadership skills.

Awaiting my expected end.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Prayers Needed!

Thank you all so much for the wonderful comments and letting me know my feelings are normal. The post was no directed at anyone n particular and I did not feel your comments were judgmental. Once again, Thank you all for always allowing me to vent in a safe place.

My heart is heavy today. Last Wednesday, my cousin Shannon had his first child. His girlfriend went into premature labour at 25 weeks and gave birth to a 1lb and a half beautiful baby girl they named Sophia. Please keep my mom, dad, and baby in your thoughts. For those of us who go on to deliver early, we can only imagine how she is feeling, because we ourselves have been there. The guilt, the frustration, the helplessness, the hurt, the hope, the bargaining, the praying..... Please pray that baby Sophia continues to grow and thrive.
This is the latest clip I received from my cousin.

Just now I got a call from my sister, telling me to call my grandfather. This is the man that helped to raise me (especially when my dad worked long hours). He listened to me, validated my feelings, and let every guy who tried to date me know that "he could not afford me". I know he is old (88), but I want my grandpa to be around to see my hold my babies in my arms.
I spoke to my grandma and she said he is completely paralyzed. He has struggled with arthritis for years and it has gotten really bad. He cannot walk, use his arms/hands, use the restroom, feed himself, and so on. It is just him and my grandma and she herself struggles with health issues. Please pray for my sweet grandpa, and for strength for my grandma. They have been married for 62 years and he has always been the strong one.

Please keep the entire family in your prayers at this time. I immediately thought of you because I know the prayer warriors that you are. The Bible says as long as we touch and agree, He will show up.

Awaiting my expected end.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Temporary Insanity...

....that's what I am calling the last post. A big thank you for not condemning or judging. The comments, "hugs", "praying for you", and the ones that let me know I am not wrong for feeling this way, and also the ones that let me know I am not alone really uplifted my down spirit.

Still, I am not THAT happy for her. They live in a 2 bedroom apartment, one salary, and really cannot afford another kid. I think I have mentioned before that my ILs and I don't get along. She also inadvertently implied that eating the wrong foods cause you to miscarry (regardless of how far along you are), and also the lack of faith makes your outcome what it is. Yea. She said that.
So, I stand by my original claim, I am not that happy for her.
Its funny how I can be happy for all of you when you find out you are expecting, but I don't feel the same way for those I know in real life. Hmmmmm.

I promised myself that in 2010, I would look on the brighter side of things (for the most part I have), but there is still that ache in my heart. For those of you who have living children..... you know that overwhelming joy that wells up in your heart when you look at your children? When you brush your hand across their head? Their shoulders? When they look at you with agape love in their eyes? When they place their tiny hand in yours? When they give you that sweet, sticky, sweaty hug? When everything is going wrong and they look at you like you are S.uperman? Yea, that feeling. My biggest fear is that I will never experience that. Looking at my babies pictures, or cradling their Urns, temporarily settles the ache, but at the same time, it intensifies it because the pictures and the Urns can't hug me back. They can't look at me with love in their eyes. They can't tell me they love me.

I am not taking for granted the fact that I can conceive, but the outcome is not set in stone. Even if my crappy cervix stays long and strong, there is still so much that can go wrong. I miss that naivete, but I am glad that God has allowed me to arm myself with knowledge.
I dreamt last night that I was expecting. At every ultrasound my face was turned away from the US machine. I was at work and a co-worker noticed my bump and said congratulations. My immediate response was "please don't say congratulations. I have lost two babies already so nothing is guaranteed. Saying congratulations implies that I will bring a baby home. Please leave the congrats until after the baby is born".
This conversation was so vivid that I woke up with the words in my mind and on my lips. I wonder is this is how I am going to be when (noticed I said when and not if) I do get pregnant? If this is so, then what a sad pregnancy it will be, but on the other hand it makes sense. This is the only way that I can guard my heart.

Again, thanks for not judging me for the previous post.

Awaiting my expected end.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


My SIL is pregnant (for the 5th time). How do I react without bawling my eyes out? What do I say? What do I do to protect my fragile heart?
Truthfully, I am NOT happy for her. I am sad for me.

Where is my expected end?

Sunday, January 10, 2010


Lately I have been hit with what I can only describe as debilitating fear. Ever since the denial from the insurance company and most recently, the consultation and scheduling of the surgery with Dr. Ch.arles, I have been experiencing intense periods of fear and nightmares. I get up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat (despite it being 34 degrees outside), heart pounding, and my eyes welling up with tears. The most recent dream...... I was pregnant with twins, and at a routine appointment, I was told that the Lap TAC was failing and one of the membranes had descended below the stitch. I started bawling and whimpering in my sleep. Just when I am about to deliver my babies I wake up in a panic. I am not sure why I am having these dreams. Maybe because I do not trust Bar.bara (the office manager and his wife), maybe because I have been hearing that the Lap TAC can fail. Maybe it is due to the the e-mails I have gotten from a few of the women I have e-mailed who had this procedure done with this particular Dr.

I think I shared with you previously my impressions of the Dr. and his wife. I am sure he is a skilled Dr. He is a laproscopic surgeon and has been very successful, but I just feel as if I am settling for second best. I asked my husband this question this morning - would you take your BMW to the corner mechanic to be fixed or would you take it to the BMW dealership?
Unlike Dr. D.avis, this Dr. left me with the impression that this is simply a job for him. His wife uses tactics to scare you into doing the procedure (this rubbed me the wrong way). She stated that it is up to me to do something because the insurance company will sit there and let me lose my baby. I know I am not dealing with her, just the Dr., but she rubs me the wrong way. I am also suspicious as to why I have to put $2500 down. The Dr. is over-confident and that scares me.
I could be reacting this way because I am nervous about the procedure. I have heard of many women who have done the Lap TAC and have been successful, but everyone is different. How do I know definitively that it will work for me? Will he place it high enough Will it be tight enough? Ladies, please tell me I am not paranoid.

I sent the following e-mail to a few ladies who had their Lap TAC with this Dr.
Hello __________
I am not sure if you still come on to Abbl.yloopers, but I really need your input. I have just scheduled my surgery with Dr. Le.roy Char.les of West P.alm Bea,ch, Fl. I live in Sunrise, Florida, and had to find someone in network in order for my insurance to cover the procedure.

I have been hearing all the "chatter" about LAPTAC, but also know that the successes also due to the expertise of the surgeon placing the procedure. After speaking to my insurance company after my original plans were changed (I previously had the procedure scheduled with Dr Davis), they assured me that the procedure would be covered because they have documented proof that a TVC does not work for me. That being said, Barb.ara spoke to me today and said that they require money down (about $2500), that *may* be refunded once they get their payment from the insurance company. I have a few questions. Please bear with me, after two traumatic losses within 8 months of each other, my heart cannot take anymore.

1.) Were you also required to put money down? Was it refunded in full? Did you have problems with the insurance company to pay Dr. Cha.rles? How long did it take for them to refund the money?
2.) Did your insurance company pre-approve the procedure or was payment requested after the procedure was done?
3.) What was your experience with Dr. Char.les and Barb.ara (easy to talk to, good bedside manners, personable, communicates with your dr., etc.)
4.) How was the recovery period? How quick were you able to get back to you normal daily activities?

I am concerned about insurance not paying (Bar.bara said there is possibility they might change their mind) because there is no procedure code. As a teacher, I do not get paid in the summer and that money that I am using for a down payment, is usually what I use to pay bills in the summer.

I understand if it may take you a while to respond, but please respond when you get a chance.

Thanking you in advance

Below are the responses. Please let me know your impressions. I know everyones experiences are different, but.... well...just let me know what you think.

Hello Marie
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost 3 babies in 1 year. So I understand that you can't handle any more disappointment. I've been their too.

I haven't been active on the board because I haven't gotten pregnant again, but do still keep up on the news. I'm happy to share my experience with you.
1.) Were you also required to put money down? Was it refunded in full? Did you have problems with the insurance company to pay Dr. Char.les? How long did it take for them to refund the money?
Yes I was required to put the $2500 down. They did refund it when my insurance company paid them. I did reach out to Dr. Charles as soon as I saw they were paid by the insurance to get my refund. I recommend you do this to get paid quickly.
2.) Did your insurance company pre-approve the procedure or was payment requested after the procedure was done?
The $2500 is due upon arrival. I believe we got the tac pre-approved when we arrived in FL. We had to be there a few days before the procedure for the approvals. You will have to see a primary care in FL (his office will set up the appt for you) and be examined by Dr. Cha.rles before the procedure and get blood work on the day you arrive. As soon as you land go straight to his office. I dilly dallied a bit and we almost missed getting my blood work done.
If your insurance doesn't cover the procedure you will not pay him more than this $2500.

3.) What was your experience with Dr. Char.les and Bar.bara (easy to talk to, good bedside manners, personable, communicates with your dr., etc.)
I struggle a little with the phone communication and emails before the procedure. I didn't feel like they got back to me in a timely manner (so keep following up). They are very busy. Dr. Char.les goes to Mexico and South America regularly to perform TAC. In person they are AMAZING!!! He is a very kind, mild manner man. He explains everything in detail and you walk away with pictures of your Tac. He also is willing to talk to your future OB GYN to answer any questions they have. My experience was great. I really liked them.

4.) How was the recovery period? How quick were you able to get back to you normal daily activities?
I am quick healer, so I was off of pain meds by the next day. You'll be back to normal in less than a week.

Dr. has done tons of these procedures and I really respected him. There is a women Lisa on the board who even carried twins with his tac.

Please let me know if you have any other questions. I'll be happy to tell you what ever I know.

Hi Marie,

I hope that I can answer your questions now.
My insurance was preapproved before the surgery. There were some issues after the surgery and I had to *fight* a little bit to get it complete. I did have a deductible to meet also. That part of it I can't give you any advice on. I am sorry that it is complicated for you. I would hope that you would be refunded. I would demand the insurance company let you know ahead of time but I know it is not that simple.
I really liked Dr. Char.les and his wife. They seem like kind and caring people. He got me right in for surgery as I was almost 9 weeks pregnant and running behind on getting anything done. I will say that he did right by me and I have no complaints.
I will say that when I had my c-section that Dr. noticed that the TAC had rubbed a bit on my utererus and had to remove the TAC. This is not normal. I really don't know the full details but from what I have gathered it seems that the LAP TAC was placed very high. It held very well. It may have been put a bit too high and I my uterus did not have quite enough room to expand. I made it through ok. I did have contractions daily from 30 weeks on. The TAC surgery went smoothly. I did have contractions for about 24 hours after the surgery and then they went away. Overall, I think it all went well. As far as the LAP TAC goes, I don't know for sure if it was the best way to go but I would do it again. It took me about 5 days to recover but I felt pretty good after 3 days. Everyone is different. I was able to go on as normal for the entire pregnancy. I hope I did not sound negative about the my TAC situation but I just wanted to let you know what happened. It got me a healthy baby and that is what I wanted.
Dr. Char.les is a wonderful man. I really have him to thank for Marla.ina.
I hope that I have answered
your questions. Please let me know if you have any other questions or if I can help in any way.



I completely understand your anxiety about paying an out of pocket expense. The proceedure was not covered in full by my insurance, I owed $5000 out of the billed $25000, because Dr. was not in network. We paid up front (and for his airfare to Boston) and have never looked back. Plus it is all Medically Tax Deductible.

One of the main reasons I am not on Abby.loopers anymore is that the list doctor (Dr. Da.vis) doesn't support the LapTAC. Which is complete and utter bollux. I am currently 25/5 in my second TAC pregnancy (this time a singleton). My first, a twin pregnancy, was 4 years ago. My twins are now 3 years and 7 months old and I had a very uneventful pregnancy for a 38 year old woman carrying twins.

My healing was really great. In about 4 days, I was solely caring for my [then] 2 year old quadrapalegic daughter, at the end of 2 weeks I was 95% healed with only little twinges of discomfort. I purposely waited 8 months before ttc again, mainly to ensure that my entire body had healed both internally and externally, although Dr. Char.les said I only needed to wait 12 weeks (I also had a herniated belly-button repaired at the same time as the surgery).

If this doesn't answer all your questions, you are more than welcome to call me (just remind me of who you are when you call). My number is ---------.

I hope this helps you. I think one of the main reasons you are being asked to put a down payment is that some insurances in FL consider any pre-conception surgery as infertility treatment (erroneously) and infertility is not a mandated coverage in FL.


Sorry I have not responded sooner to you. I don't really come to this email address anymore. So, I will give you my other that I visit daily if you have any other questions.

First off I am sory to hear about your losses. After speaking with Dr., DH and I decided that we would have the TAC after we conceived. Needless to say, we have ran into fertility issues and I have not been able to conceive for 2 years now.

However, I can answer the questions about Dr. Char.les. I met with him 1.5 years ago. I had not explored options of the traditional TAC versus Lap before meeting with him. I have to say that he was generally nice however it was very hard for my husband and I to understand him. He seemed as though he was very skilled at what he does but at that point he had only performed around 11 lap TAC, if I am not mistaken. He gloated on the fact that he had a sugeon from another country come and observe his surgery, which to me meant nothing.

I had a lot of issues with his wife. I paid my copay of $50.00. After I got my insurance EOB it stated that I should have only paid $25. I called down to the office and had a run around with Barbara about it. I told her that the insurance company said that Dr. was not considered a "specialist" and that I should only have been charged $25. Well, she refused to refund my money or contact the insurace company. Even though she received the same Explanation of Benefits as I did. I don't think you should have to pay anything up front. Either the insurance company has approved it on there end or they haven't. They can always submit a pre-appoval letter to the insurance company. The insurance company would process it as a "fake" claim to see if it would be covered. I used to work for an insurance company so I know this can be done. I would not pay for anything up front....that is what you have insurance for! Oh and there is a procedure code for both TVC and TAC. I will have to look and see if I can find it in my emails from Dr. Da.vis. I called the insurance company myself when I was trying to see if it would be covered. I don't know why Barbara would say there is not a procedure code.

After all of this I spoke with Dr. and felt at more ease about getting traditional vs lap. Yes, it does take experience doing lap and I didn't get the vibe from Dr. Char.les as I did from Dr. Da.vis. I actually was able to talk to Dr. Davis for a longer period of time on numerous occassions than I did taking the 3 hour drive down to West Palm to see Dr. Char.les. I believe Dr. used to do Lap and then went back to traditional.

Have you talked to Dr. about what the insurance is doing? I think he only charges one flat fee if you don't have insurance or the insurance won't cover it. Perhaps they could take payments? I would definitely check in to it. I know there are a few on Abbyloopers when I used to visit the site that rave over Dr. Char.les and his wife and they have had successful pregnancies. For me though, I just didn't get the same experience from him or his wife that they did.

I would definitely talk to Dr. Davis th.ough. I actually talk to Na.ncy, I don't know if she still goes on Abbyl.oopers or not, but she met with Dr. Char.les like a week after I did and pretty much got the same vibe. She has had a failed TVC. She ended up going to Dr. Da.vis last October and had TAC placed prepregnancy. I can ask her if she minds giving you info on recovery and so fourth. Another one of my friends had TAC done by Dr Da.vis post pregnancy and had a little girl last May. Another person I know lives in Miami and she ended up going to Dr. Haney and having pre TAC. She just delivered early not do to IC problems have just brought her son home. Dr. H.aney and Dr. Da.vis are the best in the field for TAC.

I hope this helps and I hope you receive this before you paid the money to them. I wish I would have seen this earlier. Please feel free to email me at -------. I check that email reguraly.

What do you think?
I prayed and decided that I am going on a fast. I told God that I am leaving it in his hands. If the procedure gets approved then this is the rout he wants us to take. If it gets denied, I won't be disappointed - this just simply means that my insurance company has to approve it with Dr. D. One of the reasons it might be denied is because the procedure code that Dr.' office uses is labeled as cosmetic surgery.
I realize that I have to trust God. Not the surgeon, but God. He is the one guiding the surgeon and nothing else matters. Whichever Dr. that does the procedure I am taking it as God's hands in the mix.
Despite this revelation, I am extremely nervous. I am afraid that the procedure will fail. When it is done laproscopically, the Dr. cannot accurately get a "feel" of the condition of the cervix. I already know that my cervix is floppy, if it is done lap, how will the Dr. know this? How will he know that when pressure is applied it won't give way. I am very afraid to put my heart on the line and possibly lose another child.

Hopefully this fast that I am about to go on, will reveal his plans for me. I am taking my hands off it. I will stop questioning it, and let his plans be revealed. I will resist calling the insurance company and let this thing play out in His time. I hope you will pray with me. Pray for peace of mind. Pray for his will to be done and for his plans to be revealed. Pray that whoever does the procedure is simply a medium through which God guides. Pray for my fear to subside and that I lay my burdens at his feet.

Awaiting my expected end.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Hello. My Name is.......

Welcome to National Blog Delurking Week (yep. It has its own special holiday). With that being said, *if* I have any lurkers (anonymous, quick peekers, hidden readers, non commenters, etc.) please just for this week, "un-delurk" yourself (is that even a word?)! It would be lovely to meet you, so that I can know all those who pray for me silently, send good luck my way, cry with me and shout for joy with me when good things happen.

I will begin with me.
Hello! My name is Marie. Sunrise, Florida resident, mother of 2 angels, wife of 1, teacher of many.
Come out, come out, where ever you are!

Awaiting my expected end.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


I really should be working right now, but I have some down time to post really quick.

Yesterday afternoon (01/04), Bar.bara from Dr. Charles' office called to see what my decision was, did we want to do the procedure, etc. I told her yes, but as their policy sates, we must pay $3500 the day of the surgery. She went on to tell me that they changed the price of the TAC because it is no longer being done at the hospital, but in a new surgical center. Th price is now...... $2500. Wow. I stated to her that if that was the case, we could book the surgery right then. SO as of yesterday afternoon, my LAPTAC is scheduled for Tuesday February 16th, at 7:00 am in West Palm Beach, Fl, about an hours drive from my city. To say I am nervous is the least. I keep hearing the "chatter" about the possibilities of LAPTAC's failing. However, I do know that the expertise of the surgeon plays a huge role and Dr. Charles is considered the expert in LAPTAC's. I also e-mailed a few of the ladies on Abby Loopers who had this Dr, place theirs, and got only rave reviews. As, usual, I digress.

I inquired about the refunding of my money when it is all said and done, and she proceeded to tell me, that even if the money is not refunded, a bouncing baby is priceless. Yeah, she's right, but I want my money back. Many of the ladies that I spoke to do get their money back, so I better get my money back. Then, I asked her for the procedure code, tax id, the works. To my astonishment, she said that here is no procedure code. Huh????? I asked her, "then how does the insurance company know what they are paying for?" She said that when the surgery is done and they request payment, they tell them it was a procedure done to the uterus. No wonder they have a hard time getting the insurance companies to pay for the procedure! I decided that I am not taking that risk! I do not have to go into the whole I am a teacher, and we do not get paid two and a half months out of the year, and I need that money spiel in order for you all to understand, because I know you already do.

Knowing how I hate spending money, one of my coworkers who I am really close to, told me of a lady she met at a union event. This individual works for vista (on of the head honchos) and is able to get procedures approved when all other methods fail (I wish I had known this when I had the procedure scheduled with Dr. Davis, but now that they now someone is in network that does it, they are sure not going to approve an out-of network procedure).
I got her number and called as soon as I had a 15 minute break. She explained that there should be no problem getting the insurance company to pay for the procedure. She called Bar.bara with me in the phone and inquired about this. Bar.bara replied that she faxed over the request and it should explain it all. The lady a Vista, said if they paid him in the past (for the consultation) then there should not be a concern about payment in the future. She did say though that the approval may take time, because it is not an emergency, but I should call her back in two weeks If I did not hear anything.
The things that make you go hmmmmm...... It seems as if 2010 is starting out right after all. What a way to start my season.

Awaiting my expected end.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Hello 2010 - So Glad You Are Here!

Am I the only one that is excited about the new year? I am ready to tackle whatever God has in store for me. The new me is here, so look out world!

Hubby and me on Christmas Day

My God-daughter Destanee and me.

I love this little girl!

My twin sister and me! Can you believe we are identical twins?? I cannot see the resemblance anymore.

I hope you all had an festive time last night! As for me, I spent it in church and our Savior sent confirmation! Praise God! Everything I wrote in my blog, was mentioned in the Pastors Sermon. He spoke about walking into our season and holding God to his promises in 2010. He stated that 2010 will be a miraculous and prolific year. Always the skeptic, I said to myself, "no way!", but once again he showed up and revealed his promise to me. This morning at our yearly family brunch, I asked my step-mom what the minister spoke about at her church. She said that he said......... to hold God to his promises! That in 2010 we should ask God to shower us with his blessings and fulfill those things that he promised us, and he is NOT slack concerning his promises.
I don't know about you, but I am SOLD! Isn't he awesome??

Embracing my expected end in 2010!