Thursday, May 26, 2011

Checking In

Hello gang!

We are still here, but enjoying our little one. Spencer is a joy and his personality is slowly emerging. He is a month old and is truly wonderful. He had his one month check up yesterday and he now weighs 8lbs 2oz, and is now 21 3/4 inches long.
Thanks for the advice on the swaddling, it has made a HUGE difference at night. He still gets up every 2 hours to nurse during the day, and every 3 hours throughout the night. We are slowly (slowly) developing a schedule so hopefully I will be back to blogging soon.

Enjoying our expected end,

Friday, May 13, 2011

Quickly Checking In

Hello everyone!

Whew! I must say motherhood is hard but extremely rewarding! I spent the entire pregnancy worrying about getting to full term that I never thought about the first month. We have had sleepless nights, unconsolable crying fits, blowout diapers, did I say sleepless nights? We are exhausted and trying to get into a routine.

Spencer is now 2 1/2 weeks old and is developing his own personality a little more everyday. Boy does this prince have a set of lungs! :-). He is napping briefly right now which gives me a few minutes to just say hi to all of you and hopefully after we develop a routine I will be doing more posts and updates along with some pictures.

Enjoying our expected end,

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Birth Story

Can I really call it that? I mean I didn't actually "give birth" he was yanked out of me! Lol.

April 26th started out as a rainy day. We got up at 3:45 am, prayed, got ourselves ready, and left. The night before we had our last meal as an earthly family of two and as we walked out the door, we looked round our condo and the baby contents within it and we couldn't help but tear up at the thought that we missed out on such an opportunity with Alyssa-Joy and Evan.

We got to the hospital by 5 am, registered and got settled into Triage. I wasn't nervous until they placed the heartbeat and contraction monitors on my stomach. My nervousness probably contributed to the nonstop contractions I immediately started having and boy did they hurt! In fact, they were consistently 4 minutes apart. I remarked to Larry that if the C-section was not scheduled for that day I probably would have gone into labor!

My dad got there around 7 (he would be in the OR with us). It was then that my twin sister called and reminded me that April 26th was also my moms birthday. I immediately burst into tears. I don't know how that slipped my mind and all I could think was "how special". I just knew my mother's spirit was with me. As my dad and Larry got dressed, Dr. C. came in and said "its time babydoll. The day you have been waiting for for three years is here. " All I can say it was an emotional moment for all.

In the OR, as they administered the spinal (which hurt like hell and you think I would be used to it after having it so many times!) Larry and my dad were brought in. This was not the experience I expected! My OB had the music blasting to Michael Jackson and he and all the other medical personnel were signing their hearts out and having a good time. This did a lot for my nerves let me tell you!
I kept waiting for the pressure, tugging, pulling, all the sensations so many told me to expect, but all I could feel was cold so they wrapped me up in warm blankets. As I was waiting, I heard a gurgling sound, a cry and then Spencer's sweet face hanging above the sheet. For weeks I had wondered what I would say when I saw him and the only thing that came out was "OH My GOSH! SPENCER YOU ARE HERE!!!" The joy on my face was indescribable. My rainbow was here!

As they took him to the side to weigh him, clean him, and have hubby cut the umbilical cord, I cried. I could not believe that he was here. He was alive. He was healthy. I simply could not take my eyes off him. They brought him to me so I could see him and love on him before they took him away.

While in recovery, I had a permanent smile on my face. I kept the image of his face in my mind the entire time and could not wait to see him again.

As we left the hospital 3 days later, our eyes filled with tears. This time instead of leaving with memory boxes, we were leaving with a baby, our miracle, our rainbow, our expected end.

For three years we have endured heartache, made tough decisions, worked on our marriage, kept the faith and had HOPE. We had so many negative emotions, "we weren't meant to have kids", "God is punishing us for something", "maybe this is God's way of saying we shouldn't be together", and so many more. The enemy tried every tactic to steer us from the expected end our Savior had in store for us. My husband lost his job, but God still provided beyond measure. I was worried about bedrest, I worked the entire 38 weeks. I worried about my cervix, but the anchor held. Heck it grew at every appointment!
Now we are enjoying our expected end. I recite Jeremiah 29:11 so many time over the past 3 years and we are reminded that God keeps his promises and desires nothing but good for us.

I pray that your expected end comes and you experience the joy we are feeling right now.

With Alyssa-Joy and Evan in our hearts, we are enjoying our expected end.
Marie & Larry

Sunday, May 1, 2011


When we lose something that is precious to us, we are left with a feeling of sadness. Whether it is a precious friend or even a treasured object, the loss can be hard to bear. It is as if a part of you has gone missing. Source

Gentle International Babylost Mothers Day to all of you. I hope your day is filled with love and the memory of your precious angels.

© Kelvin Jernigan
I have to be strong not for me
But for everyone else
I want to cry I want to scream
But no one can see my hollow tears
I keep you near to keep me sane
But the thought of you makes me sad
I want to hide and cry alone
But you are here and it keeps me real
I know you’ve left this solid ground
But in my heart you still live
You’ve kept me together for so long
So I will stay strong for everyone else.

I miss you my sweet babies.


Praying for your expected ends.