Sunday, May 31, 2009

Giving Myself Away

The praise team sang this song during praise and worship this morning and my heart was touched. Even though I am a christian, I can honestly say that I have problems with this. It is good to examine yourself from time to time and see where you lack or your weaknesses lie. I tell myself all the time that I am trusting him, but often find myself questioning that. Even though I tell myself that I am giving him control, there are times that "what ifs" and worries rise to the surface. After hearing this song, I asked for forgiveness.

This song truly means giving myself wholly and completely to him. It means letting go of all my fears and offering up every situation to him. I am not going to lie, it really is hard, but today I profess to give myself, my future, my family, my finances, completely to him so that HE can use me to his glory and his will. Even if the outcome is not how I want it to be, I am going to trust that he knows best.

Lord, forgive me for doubting you. You remind me of your presence by revealing your self and your promises in the most unimaginable way. Your thoughts for me are for peace and love, but your promises may not mesh with mine. Lord help me to trust you completely. Remind me that nothing you do in life is a mistake. You orchestrated every detail, success and loss. Though I may never understand your thinking, I know that you desire good for me and nothing good will you withhold. Help me to give myself away to you Lord, and know that you will be exalted in the end.

I hope this song is a blessing to you as it is to me.

I Give Myself Away by William McDowell

I give myself away
I give myself away
So You can use me
I give myself away
I give myself away
So You can use me

Verse 1:
Here I am
Here I stand
Lord, my life is in your hands
Lord, I’m longing to see
Your desires revealed in me
I give myself away

Verse 2:
Take my heart
Take my life
As a living sacrifice
All my dreams all my plans
Lord I place them in your hands

My life is not my own
To you I belong
I give myself, I give myself to you

Awaiting my expected end.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Still here!

Hey gang! I know it's been a while since I last posted. I have been under the weather lately (understated), and had to go in the hospital to have a minor procedure done. This kept me off line and out of the picture as I was stuck in bed. Let me tell you, bedrest is no joke, even if its for a short time. Your mind goes a mile a minute and all your worries and insecurities rise to the surface. I also learned that TV is mindless..... I did get some insightful posts though.

I guess all my positive thoughts while on bedrest paid off - I got an AWARD! Thanks Kelli!

Here are the rules...

1. When given the award, you write about seven things that you love.

2. Pass the award to seven bloggers that you love, and be sure to tag them and let them know they've won. (You can copy the award and post it on your sideboard.)

Things I love
1. My hubby and angel baby - I cannot tell how much I love my hubby! I never thought that I would meet such an awesome man. but God blessed me with a knight.
Alyssa-Joy is close and dear to my heart. Though she is no longer here, she is never far from my mind or heart.

2. My family - I have 3 awesome sisters, a brother, a dad and step-mom. I would kill for these people (seriously). Mess with my family; you mess with me, My dad raised us alone for 7 years after my mom died. He worked two jobs, sacrificed for us, and still managed to be there for school events. My step-mom came along later in life and the first few years were rough, but now we are great friends.

3. My job - I am a special needs teacher working with students with a myriad of learning disabilities. I love what I do and look forward to going to work. I love seeing my students finally "get" something after struggling, I love seeing them persevere despite their disability, and I love that they live up to my HIGH expectations.I believe that every child can learn as long as hey put their mind to it.

4. Pink - I love the color pink. I have pink everything! If my bedroom, bathroom and house could be pink, I would have them that way. Being married to a blue guy, puts a damper on my plans :-(

5. Books - Sitting on my back porch or lounging by the pool and reading a book is heaven! I could sit there all day and go through at least 3 books in 18 hours. This is what I do in the summers. I cannot wait.

6. Shoes - I am a girl aren't I? I have so many shoes that hubby has no space in the closet. Heels, flats, wedges, boots, you name them, I got them. Price??? Does not matter as long as they are cute. I prefer shopping for shoes than clothes. After all no dressing rooms needed.

7. God - His perfect number, I am in awe daily of his awesomeness. He is never far from me and when I least expect it, he surprises me. I could not go through this world not knowing him.

Bloggers I love and look forward to reading.
1. Alana
2. Jen-Jen
3. Baby Mama
4.Sweet pea n me
5. Alyson
6. Monica H.
7. Bluebird

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Real Housewives

Does anyone watch this series? I must say I watched the OC version, the New York version and the Atlanta version. At first it was entertaining and was god for some mindless viewing (you know to give the brain a nap after a long day of work). I saw the New Jersey version last night and I was so disgusted I switched the channel half way through. These women (or at least the show is) are portraying themselves to be catty, low-classed, and very aggressive. They did not present themselves as role models. What would possess you to go on national tv that is being broadcasted across the nation and portray yourself that way? I truly hope hat they are no a reflection of the New Jersey community.

This got me thinking. What makes them a Real Housewife? Is it because they have children? Money? A big house? A spouse? What is a real housewife? Do you have to stay home to be considered a housewife? I consider myself a housewife even though I work. I cook, clean, do the laundry, take care of my hubby's needs (which are many!- run his errands, pay his bills, make doctors appointments, pick up his meds, etc.). What do yo consider a housewife? Are we as working women looked down on because we do not stay home? Because we are not Mrs. Cleaver?

In times past, a housewife was one who stayed home, cleaned everyday, cooked 3 times a day, Ironed clothing to a crisp, mowed the lawn, painted the house, fed the baby while vacuuming, and still had her hair perfectly coiffed, clothing free of seams, a string of pearls around her neck, and 4 inch heels. These women on the Real Housewives displays none of the characteristics. During each season, I can count on both hands and feet how many have nannies, buy mindless things, belittle each other, are intolerant and spread rumors.
I believe the definition of a real housewife should evolve as the world changes. Does that mean that these women are included in his category? In defining what a real wife is, I refer to the word.
Proverbs 31; 10-31 (New Century Version)
10. It is hard to find a good wife, because she is worth more than rubies.
11. Her husband trusts her completely. With her, he has everything he needs.
12. She does him good and not harm for as long as she lives.
13. She looks for wool and flax and likes to work with her hands.
14. She is like a trader's ship bringing food from far away.
15. She gets up while it is still dark and prepares food her family and feeds her servant girls.
16. She inspects a field and buys it. With money she earned, she plants a vineyard.
17. She does her work with energy and her arms are strong.
18. She knows that what she makes is good. Her lamp burns in the night.
19. She makes thread with her hands and weaves her own cloth.
20. She welcomes the poor and helps the needy.
21. She does not worry about her family when it snows, because they all have fine clothes to keep them warm.
22. She makes coverings for herself; her clothes are made of linen and other expensive material.
23. Her husband is known at the city meetings where he makes decisions as one of the leaders of the land.
24. She makes linen clothes and sells them and provides belts to the merchants.
25. She is strong and respected by the people. She looks forward to the future with joy.
26. She speaks wise words and encourages others to be kind.
27. She watches over her family and never wastes her time.
28. Her children speak highly of her. Her husband also praises her;
29. Saying, "There are many fine women, but you are better that all of them".
30. Charm can fool you and beauty can trick you, but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
31. Give her the reward she has earned. She should be praised in public for what she has done.

Do these women fit into this category. Parts of them, but they need to work on the being kind part, and showing themselves favorable so women can respect them. Those of us who work hard, give of ourselves, love the Lord, and still find time to tend to our families, we are REAL HOUSEWIVES.

What do you think about this show? What does the term real housewife mean to you?

Awaiting my expected end.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Angels are the Guardians of our Souls

This is the inscription that I woke up to on Mother's Day. Hubby got me a wonderful angel gift basket. I must say I sobbed when I saw it. I opened my eyes and saw balloons floating on the dresser in front of my bed, screaming Happy Mother's Day. I decided to stay home in hopes of avoiding the day, but I have to say I did not think it was going to be that hard. At the drop of a hat, I cried. I could not help it. One friend said it best, I have an empty nursery and an empty heart.
Hubby was great the whole day, and by the time Monday rolled around, I was ok. I hope you all had a good Mother's Day.

Awaiting my expected end.

Friday, May 8, 2009

We are Special Mothers

Ladies, I will be off line for a couple of days until my computer is fixed. I wish all of you a safe and happy Mothers Day. We are all mothers whether we have lost or have no children. There is someone we can think of in our lives who we have been a mpther to. Whether it is a student, a neice, nephew, even our husbands. I hope that we think of this day as a positive one and look forward to the day that we will have a little one in our arms. Even though this day will be hard (I was thinking of spending the day under the covers) spend the day with a loved one and show them how much you appreciate and care for them. I will be showing my hubby how much I appreciate him. For standing by my side, grieving with me, encouraging me, providing for me, loving me and our precious angel. I am never afraid to discuss her with him and he always validates my feeling.
Have a wonderful day ladies.

When God Made Moms
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one"? And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!" said the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"

"And that's just on the standard model?" The Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yes, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"Yes, she is soft", the Lord agreed, "But I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the inquisitive Angel.

The Lord smiled and replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That is a tear!"

"What's the tear for? the Angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Truly, You do all things well... Moms are truly amazing!"

Happy Mother's Day!

..Erma Bombeck

Awaiting my expected end.

Monday, May 4, 2009


My goodness! Does anyone else loathe the Publix commercials? In times past, I loved and looked forward to the ads that Publix puts out for special occasions. This year I am dreading it even more. By accident, hubby was watching a basketball game and left the room during the break and I stumbled across it while flipping through the channels (serves me right for changing the channel). Immediately my eyes were drawn to a commercial that showed 2 different households. The 2 dads also with their kiddos were making a delicious breakfast. Fast forward to the end, one of the kids asked "Now dad?" and daddy nods his head. The kid immediately runs to the foot of the stairs and screams "Mom!". I must say by the time the commercial was done, tears were streaming down my face.

Mothers day was a day I looked forward to last year. In times past, I had never celebrated it, as I had no mother to celebrate it with. My dad would take us girls out to dinner and we would have an awesome time. This year was going to be different (or so I thought). Not only would we celebrate it, but I would be a MOM! 
Now, I am dreading it. It did not help that the usher at the door at church ask me if I took my picture yet. You see every mothers day at our church, the ladies and their children get a free portrait session. I said to him, "who am I gonna take a picture with? A memory box?" This sure shut him up.

Every time I now see the Publix commercial coming, I run in the opposite direction, aka changing the channel. I seem to be very emotional these days. I cry at the drop of a hat, and at the mention of mothers day, the floodgates open. Is anyone else dreading this day? Any plans or ideas to make this day easier for me?
For those of you who still have your mothers, cherish them. Tell them and show them how much you love them. Don't use this day to dwell on the fact that your baby is in heaven or not yet here, but show your mother how much she means to you. As for me, the day will be one filled with sorrow and pain, but I am going to take my own advice and show my dad how much I love and appreciate him. I am going to get up, light a candle in AJ's honor (after all I am a mom), and visit my dad. I will not be attending church, as the festivities just consume me with sadness.
I wish everyone a great week.

Awaiting an expected end.