Monday, November 30, 2009

Birthday Recap

The minute I opened my eyes, I knew what day it was. This was the day I dreaded for months (and to think I am going to have to go through this twice a year?). I snuggled into dh and started crying. How I would have loved to snuggle Alyssa-Joy and shower her with kisses on her first birthday! I would have enjoyed seeing her toddle around, chase runaway balloons, and smash her pink birthday cake.
Instead, at 6:55am I lit a candle in her honor (time of birth). We did not get to do the balloon release, as we waned to just shut ourselves away from the world and enjoy her spirit together. I was worried no one would remember AJ's birthday. How wrong I was! My sisters and friend called to see how I was doing and expressed that they missed her as much as I do. How awesome it felt to know that others I know IRL are thinking of my precious baby as well.

To all my blog friends, I thank you from the bottom of my scarred heart for remembering my sweetheart with me. I could never survive this without your love, advice, prayers, and support.

Where is my expected end?

13 comments:

  1. I am so glad that you were able to spend time together and remember your sweet daughter. It is hard to celebrate and remember multiple birthdays in a year, but I always feel grateful that I have those.

    THinking of you...

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  2. I know this must have been so so hard. How precious that your sisters and friends remembered, so precious.

    XO

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  3. I was thinking of you yesterday, honey. So glad IRL's remembered your sweet girl's birthday. Hope you were able to enjoy some measure of peace. ((Hugs))

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  4. I love the feeling when someone IRL acknowledges my daughter. It gives me a feeling that their are no words for. I am happy you spent the day remembering your baby girl together. I hope it brought you close to her.

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  5. Thinking of you and Alyssa today..... xx

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  6. I am glad that you were able to spend time together on AJ's day and that your family remembered.

    ((HUGS))

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  7. I am so glad you were able to spend time with DH and remember AJ on her special day in the just the ways you wanted! Thinking of you!

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  8. I am so glad so many people in your real life remembered Alyssa Joy yesterday. I read yesterday's post, I'm sorry I'm am just commenting now. I read from my phone and find it hard to leave a good comment when doing so. What a wonderful time to share with you that YOU are the winner of my giveway! You will receive a beautiful necklace with both of your sweet babies names on it. :) xoxo.

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  9. First, its awesome that your family and friends remembered Alyssa and that you had time to focus on her. *hugs*

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  10. Your Alyssa was born on mine and my fiance's anniversary. I will think of her and wish her a happy bday on our anniversary every year now. May God bring you Joy in all your sorrow. *hugs*

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  11. Thinking of you and your sweet Alyssa. My Kasey's birthday was Nov. 16. I am glad you and your dh spent the day together.

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  12. I'm glad that people you know IRL remembered. It's so nice when they do.

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  13. It's amazing when people remember. My best friend calls me every Thursday to see how I'm doing. Since my loss was on a Thursday, and only six weeks ago she likes to check in with me. I don't expect people to remember, but if they do Im sure it would be a wonderful feeling. I'm sorry that you're not celebrating with cake and balloons this year. I pray that one day there will be cake and balloons for a happy precious one year old for you to hold. ((HUGS))

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