Matthew 19:14 - But Jesus said, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not to come unto me, for of such is the kingdom of heaven".
In my quest to answer the question that plagues me daily ("why?"), I came across this scripture. As hard as it is to imagine, he loves my babies, probably more than I do. This is the man who gave his son, so that we might have life and have it more abundantly. This is the man that carries our burdens and makes our yoke easy. This is the man that weeps when we weeps, that rejoices when we rejoice, that blesses when we praise. Jesus was in Judea talking about family and the importance thereof, and children were brought unto him - innocent children, children whose parents wanted to be blessed, children who were probably in awe of this great man, and whose hearts were probably beating a mile a minute. I can imagine the smile on their faces when they were in his presence and how their hearts probably swelled. The disciples, who had not time for these children, and thought out savior had no time for them as well, rebuked them. I can see them pushing them away, I can see the annoyance on their faces. I can see the agony and anguish on the faces of the children. Some probably has a sheen of tears in their eyes. I can see the confusion in their eyes.
Jesus, in his infinite wisdom, rebuked the disciples and said "let them come unto me, for these are the children that will inherit my kingdom".
In numerous scriptures, he has shown a special kind of love to children. He wept and healed Jairus's daughter, he made them kings, he made them rulers, he prepared a special place for them. If he did that then, why would he not do that now? He states that children are his heritage (Ps.127:3).
I know I can never understand why, but his word gives me some idea. He loved my babies so much, that he brought them back to sit at his feet. He knew my pain would be great, he wept when I did, he ached when I ached. I can see the tears in his eyes as he made that difficult decision. I can see the hurt in his heart and the tremble in his hands as he called them home. I can see the love that he is bestowing upon them - twice the love - enough from him and enough from me. I can see the hope in his heart for me, I can see the plans he has for me.
He loves them. He says they are his heritage. He says that he desires good for me. As tough as this decision was for him to take my babies, I know it was made with a purpose. I may never understand, but I know that they are safe. I know they are free from hurt, pain, and sickness. I know they are with a savior that will bathe them in love and peace. I know that there is no other person (than myself and hubby ) that I would want them to be with. I know they are with the best person possible. Who else will love them like I do, but him?
As christmas approaches, my heart hurts but is joyful. I have a savior who loves me. I have a savior who sent his son to die for my sins, that I may have life MORE abundantly. As I celebrate his birth, I celebrate the births of all our babies. I can see them all this christmas with our savior loving down on us and bathing us in love. It is a tough week for all of us - those of us who are struggling to conceive and those of us who have lost. As we focus on the hurt that our heart feels, try to be still for a moment and feel the wind or snowflake that brushes our cheek - it is our babies reminding us that we are still very much a part of their lives, just as they are a part of ours. When you feel a sudden warmth in a cold room, know that it is our savior enveloping us in love. I pray for our peace this holiday season, and I am always thinking of and praying for you.
Where is my expected end?