I know two posts in one day, but I did not want to go into 2010 without declaring and decreeing what kind of year it *will* be for me. Habbakuk 2:2 talks about the just living by faith. Then the LORD answered me and said: “ Write the vision and make it plain on tables, that he may run that readeth it.
I am claiming 2010 as the year of promise. 2008 and 2009 brought some wonderful events as well as some devastating ones.
Jan 2008 - I Married my wonderful hubby.
June 2008 -lumps were found and thus began the anxiety ridden ordeal of testing, stopping birth control and ruling out Cancer.
August 2008 - I found out I was expecting.
October - Found out that we were expecting a baby girl!
November 2008 - Found out I was fully dilated and went on to deliver my sweetheart, simply too early to survive.
February 2009 - Jumped on the TTC bandwagon.
March 2009 - Found out we were expecting again.
May 2009 - preventative vaginal cerclage done.
June 2009 - Went on strict bedrest (modified was suggested) and found out we were having a baby boy!.
July 2009 - Emergency cerclage done, and eventually delivered a second angel.
Has yet to be written or fulfilled, but I am already claiming it as my season! As 2009 ends, I am leaving behind bitterness. I am leaving behind heart wrenching, kick you in the gut grief. I am leaving behind toxic friendships. I am leaving behind broken relationships and petty bickering. I am leaving behind the opinions of people who "think" they know best even though they have never walked in my shoes. I am leaving behind the old Marie and the label of "that girl who lost her babies". I am leaving behind anxiety and worry.
Instead, I am embracing love. I am embracing health. I am embracing peace. I am embracing the sweet memories of my babies. I am embracing the fact that I got to know them no matter how short their time with me was. I am embracing the few real friends that I have in my corner. I am embracing the wonderful family and support system that I have (those far and near, in my real life, and in my blog life). I am embracing change. I am embracing his promises for me. I am embracing healing. I am embracing positive thinking and good thoughts.
I refuse to enter a new decade as the old Marie. The new Marie will be one that loves hard. The new Marie will no longer be scared to try new things or persevere inspite of. The new Marie will give HOPE, one......more......try. The new Marie will be bolder, stronger. The new Marie will take charge of her own destiny, and make the vision plain. The new Marie will hold our Savior to His Promises.
He promised that He will fulfill the desires of our hearts.
The LORD God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as ye are, and bless you, as he hath promised you!
Whereupon he promised with an oath to give her whatsoever she would ask.
For this is the word of promise, At this time will I come, and Sarah shall have a son.
He promised that His word is sure.
For he remembered his holy promise, and Abraham his servant.
For thus saith the LORD; Like as I have brought all this great evil upon this people, so will I bring upon them all the good that I have promised them.
2 Corinthians 1:20
For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us.
Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are the children of promise.
He promised that His promises will always be fulfilled.
Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will perform that good thing which I have promised unto the house of Israel and to the house of Judah.
And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
1 John 2:25
And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life.
He says he will fulfill His promises as long as we believe those promises.
2 Corinthians 7
Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe.
Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)
For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.
As a new year approaches, I pray this prayer for all of us.
Lord, we thank you for the past two years. Though they were some trying ones that left us broken, wounded, devastated, we have realized how strong we are. We have realized that with you we CAN do all things. We realize that the kind of women we are, the kinds of families and support system we have. We realized how much you must have loved your own son, that you gave him up, so that we might have life. We realize that the same way we grieved for our babies must have been the same way you grieved for your son. We thank you that we got to know these precious gifts, though we are sad that they are not present with us in body, we are grateful that they are with you. Most of all we are grateful that we have hope. We are grateful that we will be able to see them again when you call us home. We are grateful that we have such great hope in you.
Lord, your word continually charges us to have faith, and what the result WILL be of that faith. Lord, you tell us to prove you, to fleece you, to put our hope and trust in you. Lord, though we know it may be hard, because we feel as though you let us down, we know that you do not love us any less for feeling this way. We know it makes you hug us even closer, we know it causes you to give us space until we are ready to run back to your loving arms.
As 2010 approaches, let us go into the new year armed with your armor. Armed with the knowledge that you have allowed us to acquire after our losses. Armed with even greater faith, gusto, and strength. Armed with boldness, Armed with your love, Armed with praises on our lips. Lord we declare and decree that 2010 be your year of Promise. Lord, we are holding you to that promise. Your word tells us that if we hold steadfast without wavering, the promise will be fulfilled. We claim victory in 2010. 2010 will be year that will see praise for you coming from our lips. 2010 will see healthy full term babies being born. 2010 will be a miraculous year, as we see "infertiles" conceiving. 2010 will be the year of your promises fulfilled.
Lord, we know we will also see heartaches, loss of jobs, homes, loved ones, but we face these future challenges with you by our sides, ready to lift us up before we fall. We will allow you in 2010 to dry our tears and allay our fears. We will develop an even greater relationship with you in 2010, that when our grief threatens to consume us, we know you will be waiting in the wings.
2010 is our season. Ecclesiastes 3: sates that to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Well, 2010 is our season! It is the year where your glory will be seen, and others will see how great you are. Our lives will be testimonies to you, that will draw others closer to your love.
As we enter into our season, we hold you to your promise, we embrace your promise, and we give glory and thanks before we even see it, and at the end of it, your name shall still be called blessed.
2010 will yield my expected end.