Monday, March 23, 2009

36 weeks.......

Wow! Today I would be 36 weeks. I have tried unsubscribing to the e-mails that tell you what happens at each week and what you should be feeling. Each time I read my email, a knife stabs me even harder. I also still get the baby samples in the mail, but dh tries to hide them before I see them. How do I avoid it? I don't check the mail. How pathetic!
I am a little depressed today (I dislike that word), more like extremely sad. Today is supposed to be CD 20,  but I feel as if AF is on her way. Dh and I did the deed, but again I am not optimistic. I keep running to the restroom because I feel as if AF is on the verge. 

This song keeps resounding in me head and heart and I am grateful for it. I hope the lyrics bring you as much peace as it does me. The lyrics are:
God is able to do,
Just what he said he will do.
He's gonna fulfill every promise to you.
Don't give up on God, 'cause he won't give up on you...
Thank you lord for never giving up on me and reminding me daily that your promises are sure!

During the preaching at church last night (my brother in law did an awesome job!), I was flipping through the bible and found this scripture. I believe that the Lord directed me to this section and I am eternally grateful that I found it.
Psalm 77: 1-14.
1. I cried unto God with my voice; even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.
2. In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not:my soul refused to be comforted.
3. I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed.
4. Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5. I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.
6. I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.
7. Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favorable no more?
8. Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore?
9. Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies?
10. And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most high.
11. I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember the wonders of old.
12. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.
13. Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?
14.Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.

This scripture sums up how I am feeling. It also lets me know that it ok to feel this way, and that he still desires to grant me good things. He has not forgotten me and the blessings he desires to give me. He wants me to go to him in prayer and let him know how I am feeling. As the song says he has not given up on why should I give up on him?? Be blessed.

Awaiting my expected end.

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