Caught in the Middle

Remember this incident? Well, for the past few months none of them (my husband, my sister, my step-mom) have been speaking to each other. My sister stated quite strongly that day that she will never come by my house again, and she has not since June. My step-mom is not one to hold a grudge and will love you regardless, but my husband feels out of place with the family. Part of it stems from his own insecurity and embarrassment about the situation, the fact that we have moved on and my sister still won't speak to him, and the fact that he does not want to feel uncomfortable around my sister.

Let me add, that I did not initially bring them into the situation. My husband did when he called my oldest sister that day. I would have been content leaving the situation in our house. After he called my oldest sister, it all spiraled out of control and the entire family got involved.

I sort of feel stuck in the middle. I love my husband despite his faults, and we have been through extensive counseling. I have seen where my actions could have escalated the problems we were having, and he has seen where his actions have escalated the problems we were having.

We have always been close to my family, until that "event". Now, he does not go over to their house, he no longer calls my step-mom to chat, nothing that he used to do.

The holidays are coming up (which I hate and are already hard) and we usually spend the holidays with my family. Last week he said he is not spending Thanksgiving with my family, he is staying home. I do not want to spend Thanksgiving with my family by myself while my husband stays home. So my only option is to stay home too. Who wants to spend Thanksgiving alone? If I go to my family, I will have to say why he is not there and I will feel miserable knowing he is home alone. Which leaves me with the decision to stay home as well. I will not spend the day with friends because I feel that is a time for family, especially since its around the time we lost Alyssa-Joy.

Once my sister makes up her mind that she does not like someone and will no longer speak to them, she sticks to it. I have always wanted a marriage where my spouse was close to my family, but now that does not seem to be the case. If they cannot get along now, what will happen when the baby gets here?

My sister has made snide comments of late, so I kind of avoid mentioning Larry when I am speaking to her. I do not want this kind of relationship and I am caught in the middle. I feel that right now my loyalty lies with my husband. I have been praying about it and asking God for direction, but I am still stuck.

Sorry for the rambling, but has anyone been in this situation or have any advice to offer? What do I do for the Holidays? How do I "fix" this situation (because, you know I like to fix things)? I don't want a life where no one in my family gets along, and I especially don't want my child to grow up in a situation like this.

Awaiting my expected end (great c/l and still working!),

Marie