Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Hello gang!

I know its been a while, but I have a good reason. :-). I want to first say WELCOME to my family members that have found this blog. Yes, my family has found my blog, and yes I am pretty sure. How do I know? The stats button is a wonderful thing! Am I happy you are here? No. Am I happy you are reading my most intimate thoughts? No. Am I happy that I can no longer maintain a level of anonymity? No. But seeing that this blog is a public record, I have no choice but to allow you to keep reading.
So welcome. One request though, whatever you read here, please let it stay here. Now that you have knowledge of this pregnancy, please continue to pretend that you have no knowledge of it and please no opinions or judgements are needed.

I did consider abandoning ship, changing the blog address, going private, and many of the other options that are available, (and blogger does not allow password protected posts ), but as I said when I first started this blog, that if any thing good comes out of my experiences, is that I am able to help someone else. If I chose any of these options, then I am limiting the effect my experiences, my faith, and AJ's and Evan's life will have on others.

I will keep blogging about this pregnancy, my struggles, my fears, my moments of enlightenment because this is my online diary and chronicle of my life. So what ever is read here, please leave it here.
I always had my suspicions, but my suspicions were confirmed a few weeks ago. I deliberately did not blog, because I did not know what route I would take. I felt sort of violated and panicked for an instant, until I spoke to my friend Fawzia (thanks Fawzia!).

So again, WELCOME.

Has anyone else found out that their families discovered their blogs? How did you feel? What was your reaction? How did you handle it?

Awaiting my expected end.


  1. My blog was really never a secret, and there are many days that I wish it was. It's not that we don't want them included, but some days you just need to post something and not worry about hurting feelings, or offending anyone! I hope your family is very respectful of you, as you have and continue to help so many people by sharing your journey!!

  2. My family has always known about my blog because it was started to keep everyone informed. There are some things I do not feel at liberty to write about because they read it, but overall I am good. I think it may help them to know what is really going on in my heart sometimes.

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

  3. I can understand your desire to keep your blog from being read by those closest to you. It's the same as someone reading your diary. You post so often from your heart- raw emotion. And that can be hard for family to deal with. However, I respect you keepng your blog open to all. I hope anyone who reads it does so with an open heart and a willingness to understand that some of what you post comes from a very deep place. One many people can not understand unless they have been taken that low by trauma. Anyone who reads here should know that this is a small society of wounded people seeking support and comraderie. We respect what you post here because too often it is a reflection of what we also are experiencing. So welcome to family... I'm sure they'll surprise you with their compassion.

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  5. Hey Marie, I was wondering where you were. Your blog was one of the first blogs I read about the TAC and I really appreciate you sharing your journey for gals like me that need to see hope from women like you! So I personally appreciate you very much. However, I completely understand your issue with your family. I sent the link to my blog to my family with the intention of just having things about Lauren on the blog, but now it has evolved into more. I feel like I can no longer be honest about things, because most of my problems are probably my family. I can't even write about my scheduled TAC date in December (YAY!!)

  6. I would feel very violated, as I use my blog to release the things that swirl in my head and just "be real". I've posted some very personal things on my blog and wish for it to be kept private so I understand how you felt...not knowing what path to take.

    However, know that your transparency has helped SO MANY Marie. I directed a dear friend to your blog when I felt as if there were little I could do for her. I wanted her to read your blog and know that someone else had experienced her pain and that she was not alone in dealing with loss, grief and IC. Thank you for sharing your life and I admire your honesty.

    To your family, I would say....be not judgemental of what you read here, as we write on these blogs to release tensions and our innermost feelings. It's our therapy and a healing technique. Loss for a baby lost Mom is a treacherous road, yet with the support of eachother "we survive the journey".

    Much Love

  7. My family knows about my blog and rarely visit it, but I understand where you are coming from. I would hope that your family could read these posts with and open heart. I would hope that they could better learn how to communicate with you from your words. I think your blog is great! I would say many women have been blessed by your words. Keep it up sweet friend! BTW, I love your new blog design! The background is really pretty!

  8. My blog is an open blog. My family knows it is there and I know my aunt reads it and maybe a sister-in-law. I think others follow it but don't know for sure. I decided that I write my blog for me to share where I am and what I am doing, thinking, praying, living. I have hesitated to write some things but then decide to write from my heart...again, I write for me. I hope you keep writing.

  9. I don't think my family has found my blog, but I am so open in it that if they did they may be surprised with how open I am. Thinking of you and sending you lots of *hugs*

  10. My blog has never been a secret--we started it to journal and connect when we were adopting a few years ago.

    I'm probably a bit different, but honestly, I sort of like my family reading it--they know JUST where I am coming from and I don't have to actually get the words out to let them know. If they choose to comment to me about something I wrote (and they really don't because most of my family is pretty passive-aggressive), I just kindly and sweetly tell them, "You don't have to read it if I hurt your feelings. I don't mean to."

    Of course, I used to get (before I made it so NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS!) comments about how I needed to be more respectful of my family (yes, stats ARE great because I KNEW where they were coming from!) and I just thought that if they were too cowardly to call me and talk about it, then they certainly were deserving of the words I wrote and since they were MINE, I wasn't going to stop.

    Just remember...you write this for you...and your children...if others get something they feel they need to discuss with you, you can just put an end to the discussion. It is not as easy as it sounds, of course, but once done, if needed, certainly weight-lifting!!!

    Thinking of you!!

  11. My blog is not a secret to anyone. Sometimes I offend people by making fun of their suggestions (read ADVICE), but so be it, they know who I am, and I am writing my blog mostly as public service, to help others in need of a kindred spirit in a similar situation. The goal of my blog is to portray my feelings and experiences for the others that are struggling with my issues, not to be polite and nice out of fear that anyone might read and be offended. I am what I am.

  12. Oh your blog has a new look! Nice! :)

    Sorry your fam has found the blog. Well, everyone has known about my blog from the beginning. It makes it tough to blog about some things that I would've liked to.