My Expected End

Hello all! THANK YOU, THANk YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for checking up on me, sending me sweet messages, words of encouragement, sending good thoughts and prayers my way.
Sorry for also "dropping off the face of the earth", but I honestly needed to go into prayer mode. I needed to reevaluate my life, thinking, relationships with my inlaws, and just make sure that I was not being selfish/dramatic/rash (whatever you want to call it).

I know I left a lot of you in the dark, but here is a brief history. Hubby and I started courting in 2005. Through our entire relationship, my MIL has disliked me. You think I am exaggerating? The woman did not even come to my wedding. The kicker? She saw us the day after the wedding in Tar.get getting last minute stuff for our honeymoon, and did not say "congratulations", "how are you doing", etc. She saw us, because I saw her watching us in the store and she never came over. After I pointed her out to hubby we went over to make small talk and she quickly frittered away.
Why does she not like me? According to her: "I'm too educated". What????? Does she know how hard I worked for my degrees? Does she know how hard I have pushed myself over the years? I will NEVER apologize for my education. She equates education with being "stuck up". My father left school at 8 grade to join the army, my husband has a high school diploma. For me to look down on others without a degree would make a hippocrite. I saw how my father struggled to raise the four of us (soldier by day, taxi cab driver by night), and vowed that I would never struggle as much as he did. My father also pushed us to go to college because he did not want us to struggle. Today all four of his children have college degrees. Now I have been nothing but kind to my MIL, but there comes a time when enough is enough. I get tired of making the first move only to be ignored or insulted. When I was in the hospital giving birth, she never showed up or called. Over the following days, not even a text message. When I was blissfully pregnant with Alyssa-Joy and was thinking ahead, hubby asked her if she would be able to watch her for 2 hours until I got off of work. Her response? " I am not watching anybody's child".

Every month, she needs something and who does she call? Larry. She has 4 other children, and she always calls Larry. This is a woman who gets alimony, disability, social security, and is still fairly young (56 years old). Every month, I bite my tongue and let him do. Sure, once in a while I will complain, but for the most part, I just grumble to myself in the shower. After all, aren't we our brother's keeper? Why not give away our hard earned money to someone who can't stand me for no reason at all. And yes, I know there are two sides to every story, but believe me when I say, I have done nothing to this woman.
Well, I finally said enough is enough. She called hubby again asking for money. What ticked me off, is she KNOWS he is not working, yet she still calls him when she has 4 other children (one of which who claims that she earns $2,000 weekly). I put my foot down and said no. I am tired of getting into fights with my husband over this woman. I had finally had enough. I will spare you the details, but it got ugly and we both said things that probably should not have been said.
The conclusion to the whole matter is that we will be seeing someone. Divorce is not an option for me. I have nothing against it, but my husband knew from day one that there would not be any divorce in this marriage. I made an appointment with a christian marriage counselor for this Wednesday to help us sort out/learn to deal with in-law interference. Someone put it well in a blogpost (sorry, I forgot who) - the devil is running interference, and it must come to a stop. My hope from speaking to this counselor is that he will see it from my perspective, and vice versa. I will keep you all updated.

So for now, I have cut her out of my life. I refuse to have toxic relationships! I am done making an effort, and will simply love her from afar.
Again, thank you for the prayers, comments, prayers and well wishes.


I am now officially on vacation! The last two weeks I have facilitating a grant funded program at work and now I am FREE!!!!! My goal for this summer is to clean/ de-clutter my house, and blog at least every other day.
Please continue to keep us in prayer.

Awaiting my expected end.