Today I am 15 weeks 3 days. It is at 15 weeks 6 days that I started having cervical changes with Evan and went on bedrest. My next appointment is not until 16 weeks, 2 days (MFM) and 16 weeks 3 days (OB). I will be calling my OB to see if we can move the appointment up or even push it back since it makes no sense to have appointments back to back. I am also scheduled to get my first P17 shot next week. Definitely not looking forward to that! We will also find out the gender next week.... well Larry will, I wont. Yes, I am still deciding to not find out until about 25 weeks, maybe even later.
I feel great, have had no discharge (knock on wood and praise God! - discharge for me is the enemy), no pressure, no nothing, I have not felt any kicks yet though and I usually start feeling them by week 14.
I was speaking to a friend the other day and I made a comment that I was treating the TAC like a TVC, and it occurred to me that I actually am! The TAC is no comparison to the TVC and since realizing that I have relaxed just a tad bit (just a tad).
A new bloggie friend asked the following question that got me thinking.
"Marie, Is it possible, even for a second, to not be afraid? after all we have been through? And despite being afraid, can we still not enjoy the pregnancy?" Is it possible? I think for me it will become enjoyable once I pass my critical weeks (16-21) and then once viability hits (even though it really isn't viability because 50/50 doesn't mean much) I will enjoy it even more. For me the fear comes from the unknown and I joke about the fact that I wish they sold ultrasound machines for the home so I can monitor myself. Thats the best answer I can come up with. Does anyone have a better answer? There are times throughout the day I find myself not afraid and I am optimistic about the future. Do I think I will bring this baby home? Absolutely! I refuse to believe I won't. Is it going to be easy holding on to that hope? Nope. But I have already made up my mind that for each milestone, a large purchase will be made.
My first purchase for hitting 16 weeks will be this.
Thanks for continuing to keep us in prayer.
Awaiting my expected end (great c/l and still working!),