This Month's edition of The Secret Garden Meeting centers around the following question: What has helped you through out this new life the most. Is it your family? your faith? Support groups? A ritual? Music? Physical activity? A new interest? It could be anything. Tell us about how whatever it is has helped you
Many things have helped me deal with these tragic and heartrending past few months. First and foremost, my faith. I do not profess to be the most perfect christian, I have my moments when I ask why? and doubt his "thoughts of peace" for me. However, on the days that I am feeling down and ready to lose hope, he sends someone, a scripture, a blog post, something that lifts me back up. I am working daily on my faith, it is tough, but I look back and I thank him for all the things he has done for me, good and bad, as it made me a better more appreciative, more sympathetic person.
Secondly it is my wonderful hubby. He knows how I feel and encourages me to express myself freely. A simple hug will bring me out of my sad place, the smile that flashes across his face when he looks at our babies pictures and urns, how he refers to the babies we will have, and how he thanks me for blessing him with two babies. I have an awesome hubby and I thank God for him - I could not imagine going through this with anyone else.
My sisters are also a God-send. They know just when to step in and rescue me. They remember my babies with me and encourage me. They keep the crazies away from me (you know - the ones who always have advice, God knows best, you are young...etc.) and when I am doubtful, remind me that I have to think positive.
Last, but not least, my blog family. It is all of you that help to keep me sane. Your words of encouragement are welcomed and treasured. You allow me to be me and know that I can express myself and share my babies without fear of rejection. I relish in the fact that I can count on you to pray (not just to say you are, but to actually do it), I enjoy sharing my life with you and Thank You from the bottom of my scarred heart.
I remember my babies every single day. When i wake up I tell them good morning and kiss the urns. I have had picture books made. The pictures I have of them are precious to me. I have scrapbook pages. Hubby and I are currently designing pendants in memory of them, and we are planning Alyssa-Joy's birthday celebration. We remember them by referring to them by name and sharing them with every one we know. We love you babies!
Where is my expected end?