My Expected End

I have been meaning to join in the Secret Garden Meeting Series,, but every time I create a post, I get super emotional. It acts as a reminder of what should be. i should be blogging about the antics of my little ones and not be blogging about my grief.
Every month, a series of questions are asked and each blogger may answer as she wishes. It is a way to remember or babies and share grief.

If you created a bedroom for your baby tell us what it was like.
I did not create a bedroom. Both Evan and Alyssa would have slept in our room. In our culture, the first few months, the baby "rooms" with the mom. We did have visions for each room and we would have started room prep when the baby was about 3 months old.
This was the bedding we selected for Alyssa.

The walls would have been pink, and I envisioned flowers and ladybugs decals on the walls.

This would have been the bedding for Evan.

The walls would have been painted a baby blue with music notes accessories all over. This bedding was supposed to be our "celebration" bedding. Once we had gotten to 24 weeks, I would have bought it as a gift for getting to viability.

Did you have it ready for them before they were born?
No. I was too nervous in both pregnancies.

If so how did you cope coming home to it without your baby?
Thank heavens I did not buy anything. I probably would have gone home and torched the place.

Did you pack it all away?
I packed away all my maternity clothes, all the magazines and books went in the garbage.

What is your baby's room now?
Nothing.

If you are trying to conceive again, or are pregnant again how do you feel about setting up another room before your baby is born?
I will not set up a room until the baby comes home. I will have the bare essentials - a bassinet. I will no even look at beddings, cribs, clothes, etc. I will not even entertain the thought of a baby shower. After the baby is in my arms, then I will send my sisters and hubby out to buy the remaining items.

Where is my expected end?