Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I have been meaning to join in the Secret Garden Meeting Series,, but every time I create a post, I get super emotional. It acts as a reminder of what should be. i should be blogging about the antics of my little ones and not be blogging about my grief.
Every month, a series of questions are asked and each blogger may answer as she wishes. It is a way to remember or babies and share grief.

If you created a bedroom for your baby tell us what it was like.
I did not create a bedroom. Both Evan and Alyssa would have slept in our room. In our culture, the first few months, the baby "rooms" with the mom. We did have visions for each room and we would have started room prep when the baby was about 3 months old.
This was the bedding we selected for Alyssa.

The walls would have been pink, and I envisioned flowers and ladybugs decals on the walls.

This would have been the bedding for Evan.

The walls would have been painted a baby blue with music notes accessories all over. This bedding was supposed to be our "celebration" bedding. Once we had gotten to 24 weeks, I would have bought it as a gift for getting to viability.

Did you have it ready for them before they were born?
No. I was too nervous in both pregnancies.

If so how did you cope coming home to it without your baby?
Thank heavens I did not buy anything. I probably would have gone home and torched the place.

Did you pack it all away?
I packed away all my maternity clothes, all the magazines and books went in the garbage.

What is your baby's room now?

If you are trying to conceive again, or are pregnant again how do you feel about setting up another room before your baby is born?
I will not set up a room until the baby comes home. I will have the bare essentials - a bassinet. I will no even look at beddings, cribs, clothes, etc. I will not even entertain the thought of a baby shower. After the baby is in my arms, then I will send my sisters and hubby out to buy the remaining items.

Where is my expected end?


  1. I have to say that I have the flip side of most of your answers. Even though we expected the babies to room in with us for several months, we set up a nursery. I love being in that room. Being in the hospital is the hardest thing right now because I cant just sit in there and look out the window. I would go in every single morning and just sit, wishing the babies were with me, but feeling them nonetheless.

    I wasnt sure that I would want a shower with this pregnancy since I didnt have one with the other babies (our first twins had one planned that was canceled and then we chose not to plan one with Alex). But, as much as I am terrified, everyone else is so excited. And, at 30w, everyone tells me I'm in the clear (although I know that isnt true). I'm trying to get psyched and not let my fear grab hold of me, but it is hard.

  2. Both of my babies m/c in the first trimester so I didn't have anything officially picked out, but I did sit in the rocking chairs at Babies-R-Us staring at all the bed sets on the wall with my sister...picked one girl bedding and one boy bedding that I liked.
    I often sit in our guest room/to-be-nursery and imagine what it will look like one day. I hope that day is soon for both of us!

  3. I can understand your answers because I kinda was feeling the same way. We had furniture picked out, but not purchased. We were not going to purchase till after the shower which wouldn't have been held till the third trimester. My mom was in the midst of shower planning when I lost Jonathan. The only thing we had purchased was little things here and there that all fit in one rubbermaid container. I applaud those who have to face the furniture they purchased early. It must be difficult to face. I am trying to put my faith in God that one day we will carry a baby to term and have shopping to do...I say put your faith in God and he will do the rest. Sending *hugs* your way.

  4. Hi Marie,
    First of all, I want to say that I'm so sorry for your losses. My heart breaks for you and your husband. As I read each post about Evan and Alyssa, I cried and cried.
    I noticed that you are a follower of my blog, "Adventures in Monterrey" and I thought I'd stop by and check out your blog. I was wondering how you found my blog... we have more in common than you probably know. I haven't posted anything on my blog about our pregnancy losses, but I have had 4 miscarriages. It's amazing that you found my blog, I was just wondering how. After the 4th miscarriage, we adopted our son, Samuel. We were able to take him home from the hospital when he was just 2 days old! Then when Samuel was only 3 months old, I was pregnant again. It was a huge surprise because we were not trying- we weren't going to try again until Samuel was older. But God had other plans- Emma was born only 1 year and 3 weeks after Samuel. I'm sorry that I'm writing so much, you probably don't want to know my whole life story on a blog comment, so I'll stop now. I just wanted to say hi and that I'm praying for you and your husband.
    That's all.

  5. I love both nurseries and I know that you will be able to use them still...

    Hugs and thinking of you, Alyssa, and Evan~


  6. Lovely nuresry items, you had chosen.

    I think it is wonderful that you and DH would have Baby with you in your room for the first few months. What wonderful parent-child-bonding occurs!

    Praying for you and DH...may that nursery be filled one day!