Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Face Book

Oh my goodness! Facebook is an epidemic! Let me first say that if you do not want anyone to know your bsiness, DO NOT POST it on facebook. I have been tracking my CD days and the remainder left over. For example; CD 22, 3 more days to go. Simple. No details. An associate said "ok. is this for AA or something?lol." Okay, I took no offense to that.
My SIL said, "OMG! I wondered about that last night too. Are u trying for a baby or something?" Maybe it's just me, but I took offense to this. I deleted their comments, aad left a snide remark. Knowing how sensitive this matter is, I did not think SIL should have made such a comment, especially for all the world to see. Even if she had no clue (and she doesn't) that comment should have never bee made. I agree, I was probably a bit harsh in the 2 responses that I made, but as usual I jump before I think.

Well today is CD 22. 3 more days until I can test. I am sooooooooooo nervous! I really want this, but I can't help but be nervous. I had some mild cramping that I hope is implantation pain, and I really thick discharge (I never ever get discharge). I am hoping this is a good sign. The weird thing is, I am already practicing. I practice how to sleep, how to do stuff laying down, walking up the stairs to my condo, etc. I really do not anticipate any changes (here I go getting ahead of myself again) until week 19, which is the second to last week of school. I am hoping I can work until then, but if not, no problem. I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring a baby into tis world.
I am actually on edge these last few days and am chickening out until testing. I planned to test in 12 days just to be safe, but will probably break down and POAS before that. Lol.

I now have a new set of worries apart from the nervousness of the first trimester and getting the stitch itself. It is telling my family. I am soooo nervous. If I wait, they may be upset I did not tell them. If I tell them, they will worry. I told dh that I will tell them the week before getting the cerclage, but he says that would not be fair to them. I will probably go ahead and tell them then anyway. I will suffer later. LOL.

Church on Sunday was awesome! AWESOME!!! Sorry, had to scream it out. I have so much hope after this service. The visiting pastor did a great job and the glory of God could be felt. God will not withhold anything good from his people, and I am no different. After his message, I remembered what a visiting pastor has said to me last year when I just found out I was pregnant. She kept saying hold the faith, everything will be alright and he knows. I am starting to think that she could foresee what would happen or knew something was going to happen. I never really thought much about it, but now I wonder if this was the storm she was talking about? If it is, i can truly say I have risen above my circumstances. Every time I start to think "why me?' I stop and thank God for his many blessings. I have a great job, hubby, and family. Everything else will fall into place. As I close, I remember the scripture, " seek ye first the kingdom of God and his rightousness, and all these things shall be added unto you".

Awaiting my expected end. (I hope it comes soon)

No comments:

Post a Comment