Oh my goodness! Facebook is an epidemic! Let me first say that if you do not want anyone to know your bsiness, DO NOT POST it on facebook. I have been tracking my CD days and the remainder left over. For example; CD 22, 3 more days to go. Simple. No details. An associate said "ok. is this for AA or something?lol." Okay, I took no offense to that.
My SIL said, "OMG! I wondered about that last night too. Are u trying for a baby or something?" Maybe it's just me, but I took offense to this. I deleted their comments, aad left a snide remark. Knowing how sensitive this matter is, I did not think SIL should have made such a comment, especially for all the world to see. Even if she had no clue (and she doesn't) that comment should have never bee made. I agree, I was probably a bit harsh in the 2 responses that I made, but as usual I jump before I think.
Well today is CD 22. 3 more days until I can test. I am sooooooooooo nervous! I really want this, but I can't help but be nervous. I had some mild cramping that I hope is implantation pain, and I really thick discharge (I never ever get discharge). I am hoping this is a good sign. The weird thing is, I am already practicing. I practice how to sleep, how to do stuff laying down, walking up the stairs to my condo, etc. I really do not anticipate any changes (here I go getting ahead of myself again) until week 19, which is the second to last week of school. I am hoping I can work until then, but if not, no problem. I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring a baby into tis world.
I am actually on edge these last few days and am chickening out until testing. I planned to test in 12 days just to be safe, but will probably break down and POAS before that. Lol.
I now have a new set of worries apart from the nervousness of the first trimester and getting the stitch itself. It is telling my family. I am soooo nervous. If I wait, they may be upset I did not tell them. If I tell them, they will worry. I told dh that I will tell them the week before getting the cerclage, but he says that would not be fair to them. I will probably go ahead and tell them then anyway. I will suffer later. LOL.
Church on Sunday was awesome! AWESOME!!! Sorry, had to scream it out. I have so much hope after this service. The visiting pastor did a great job and the glory of God could be felt. God will not withhold anything good from his people, and I am no different. After his message, I remembered what a visiting pastor has said to me last year when I just found out I was pregnant. She kept saying hold the faith, everything will be alright and he knows. I am starting to think that she could foresee what would happen or knew something was going to happen. I never really thought much about it, but now I wonder if this was the storm she was talking about? If it is, i can truly say I have risen above my circumstances. Every time I start to think "why me?' I stop and thank God for his many blessings. I have a great job, hubby, and family. Everything else will fall into place. As I close, I remember the scripture, " seek ye first the kingdom of God and his rightousness, and all these things shall be added unto you".
Awaiting my expected end. (I hope it comes soon)