Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dear pregnant woman on the treadmill,
It's so nice to see you sprinting, trying to not gain that extra much needed pound. I see you every night busting your butt, trying to reject the few little pudges that are forming.
Just letting you know that I would die for that so count your blessings, go home, put your feet up, and welcome the fat.

Dear teacher at work,
Please stop moaning and groaning about the aches and pains you feel. Please try to refrain from telling me you cant sleep at night and how you get up "a million" times a night to pee.
Just know that I would die for that. So count your blessings and shut the heck up.

Dear youngster at church,
Please stop rejecting the option to buy maternity clothes. Trust me. They are not expensive. No one is telling you to buy Gucc.i and Pra.da. Take yourself to R.oss, Wal.mart, T.J Ma.xx or No one wants to see your poor belly fighting with your extra tight shirt for air/space. Oh, and please don't lament to everyone that comes within five feet that you are "so fat"!
Just know I would die for that. So count your blessings and embrace the wonders of pregnancy.

Dear pregnant (neither of you work) woman at church,
It must be nice to prounce around in 4 inch heels. It must be nice to walk around naive. If someone lovingly suggest that you lower the inches, don't attack them. Don't then go around retelling the tale and calling them "know it alls".
Just know I would die for that. So smile, shut up, and move on.

Dear pregnant women everywhere I go (and you are everywhere!)
How nice it must be to buy your crib at 13 weeks. When the rest of us are afraid to buy anything until after the baby is born.
I would die for that.

Dear pregnant SIL,
Why is it that you get to have 5 kids? Why is it that we have to struggle to hold onto 1? Please stop passing on advice because your womb is fruitful and ours are not. Please don't let me feel guilty because I cannot give your big brother babies.
I would die to give him babies.

Dear pregnant woman strutting your stuff,
Count your blessings. Don't take offense when I turn away or cross the street. I do not do it to be mean. It is just that my heart cannot take seeing you and be reminded of what I had. I am simply protecting my broken heart and fragile state of mind. I fear if I come near you, I might break down and be carted off to the psych ward.
Continue enjoying your naivete. I would die for It.

Oh, and that big bump in front of you? I would die for that too. That look of wonder on your husband's face? I would die for that too.

Awaiting my expected end.


  1. I totally get it. My heart drops every time I see a pregnant women. I am okay though when I see moms pregnant with their rainbow babies. I am so happy for them and have hope for them. I was around a rainbow baby a few weeks ago and it was the first time I had been able to see a baby and not cry. I went to breakfast the next morning and saw three babies and started crying. So many emotions! I too would die for that...

  2. Even being pregnant, I totally relate to that. I feel like a fake. I don't get to experience any of the normal pregnancy stuff. Everytime I start to have a happy, positive thought, I think of what happened to Ella, of what happened to all of our babies. Begging and pleading for all of us to have healthy, living babies in our arms.

  3. (Hugs) I know the feeling all to well. It's not fair. You do have some beautiful angels.

  4. Me too, Me too. I would die for all of those things too. *HUGS*

  5. As tears run down my face I know this is exactly how I feel. I feel every once of this post. So glad all the preggo teachers are gone. I can not wait for it to be us soon too. Hugs Marie!!!

  6. Praying for peace... My heart still recognizes that hurt. Sadly, living babies doesnt change it. I'd still die to have them all, die to have back the innocence. (((hugs)))

  7. Dear Marie, I pray SOMEDAY SOON that you will be getting up to pee a lot at night, buying maternity clothes, and be able to put a newborn into a beautiful nursery decorated just for him/her.You and your hubs would make great parents and I know you would die to have a baby.I have been there, too.
    Hugs and prayers, Sarita

  8. Marie,

    I find myself observing all the same things, but have failed to convey my thoughts as brilliantly as you. I would die for all of that too.

    In the meantime, I am going to focus on "me", give myself a pass and enjoy what lies outside of life TTC.

    You are doing a beautiful job of holding it all together and don't let anyone discourage your sweet, fun, gorgeous spirit.

    Much Love & have a great weekend!

  9. Just like Bree said, even though I am actually pregnant right now, I feel totally fake. And I still have those exact same feelings toward other people I see. I hate that I feel them, but I do.
    I think of you so often! Love to you!

  10. Oh Marie,

    You've said it all. The things i've felt you said it. I don't go to the gym so i have no sightings there. Just last night i saw a woman at church who looked like she was about to burst and all i could think of is how i should be looking the same right now. I remember being pg with xavien i was scared to move around doing my normal activities. Sending you hugs and love right now.

  11. even now for me the innocence is going. I am just praying to make it through each day. I wish that innocence was not lost forever. *hugs* Praying for peace for you.

  12. So get it! When I hear pregnant woman complain about things I just want to say you don't know how lucky you are! Feel blessed that you are pregnant and that your baby is ok!

  13. Just found your blog from Katy Larson's -- wanted to stop by and tell you that I do get every little thing said in this post!!

    Praying for you...