I awoke this morning at peace. If the Lord sees fit to not bless us this month then that is okay with me. I know that he knows best, and I am giving it up all. It is in his hands and he alone holds the future in his hands. I can't not say that the human side of me would not like to feel a little one inside of me, but God is still in control.
Last month I cried when AF came. This month, I am trying to appreciate what I have and not what I should have. This is my prayer for today:
Lord, teach me how to wait.
Teach me that it is your will and not mine.
Teach me to leave my heart open so that you can fill it with love overflowing.
Teach me to accept the things that to me seem impossible, and remind me that you can make all things possible.
Lord have your way in our lives. We thank you for the daughter you blessed us with. Though she was not with us long, her death brought us closer together.
Lord, you have also taught us how strong we are. We have had a year of troubles - cancer scares, hospitalizations, and finally the loss of a child.
Your word reminds us daily, that "they that wait upon the Lord, he shall renew our strength, we shall mount up with wings as eagles, we shall run and not be weary, we shall walk and not faint", finally lord, teach us how to wait.
Awaiting my expected end.