Thursday, January 29, 2009

God always takes the angels...

Today I am feeling great! I am really optimistic about the next pregnancy whenever it will present itself. I must say that I am anxious for it to happen soon though. I really really really really really really hope that it has already happened or is happening. Throughout the day I find myself being a cheerleader urging the eggies and spermies to meet.

Last night, hubby and I had a discussion about the sex of any child we have. I really want another girl (but of course I will take whatever the lord sees fit to give me), but I can't help but feel that if I do, I will be comparing her to AJ. I think, will I slip up and call her AJ?? Lol. I hope not that would be too creepy. Dh wants whatever he gets and will be happy either way, but I can't help but think if I have a boy, I will be wistful about a girl (AJ). Oh well... I seem to be planning and ranting and I am not even pregnant yet. LOL.

My big sis and I were having a conversation and I told her that I still feel it was my fault that AJ died, and she to me , "Marie, God always takes the angels because he needs them to perform greater works". Wow!!!!! I am comforted that I have my very own angel looking down on me and sending me thoughts of peace and love. I must say that throught the experience of losing AJ, I have learned patience, appreciation for the little things, and I don't worry so much about silly things or people. I have had a taste of mommyhood and crave to experience it even further.

Well, today is 2 dpo (days past ovulation). I have been feeling some pain in my ovaries (if you can feel it) little twinges here and there, and everytime I ovulate I get nauseous. I am optimistic and taking this as a good sign that the spermies and eggies are doing there thing. Lets see what happens from now on.
I have made a commitment not to test until I have missed a cycle, that way I don't get any false hopes and have them dashed in the end.

Awaiting my expected end. Goooooooooooooooooooooooooo spermies!!!!!!!

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