Friday, January 23, 2009

CD 11.

Today is Cycle Day 11. That means I have 17 days before I can test to see if I am expecting again. I have actually gotten an ovulation calendar that pinpoints my most fertile days and has used that as a guide to do the deed (dtd). I ovulate on Monday and anyting can happen between now and that time. We are hoping that we get pregnant this cycle, because with AJ we got preggo the day after I got off of birth control (funny huh? and they say it takes a couple weeks to get out of your system). If we don't get pregnant this cycle, we still have more to go.

When we lost AJ it felt as if a part of me died. There are days I still struggle with feeling this way but knowing that God will not put more on me than I can bear, I have hope. I blame myself at times thinking that there must have been some sign I missed and worry about the next pregnancy. I remeber at the end of the 1st trimester, I asked the doc, if everything was ok b/c I did not have any morning sickeness, and he said that there was a 99% chance everything will go well, b/c this 2nd trimester is usually the safest. What a laugh!! So instead of worrying the first 13 weeks only, I will have a total of 28 weeks of worry?! Especially If I am put on bedrest?!

Still waiting on my expected end.

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