Thank you all so much for the wonderful comments and letting me know my feelings are normal. The post was no directed at anyone n particular and I did not feel your comments were judgmental. Once again, Thank you all for always allowing me to vent in a safe place.
My heart is heavy today. Last Wednesday, my cousin Shannon had his first child. His girlfriend went into premature labour at 25 weeks and gave birth to a 1lb and a half beautiful baby girl they named Sophia. Please keep my mom, dad, and baby in your thoughts. For those of us who go on to deliver early, we can only imagine how she is feeling, because we ourselves have been there. The guilt, the frustration, the helplessness, the hurt, the hope, the bargaining, the praying..... Please pray that baby Sophia continues to grow and thrive.
This is the latest clip I received from my cousin.
Just now I got a call from my sister, telling me to call my grandfather. This is the man that helped to raise me (especially when my dad worked long hours). He listened to me, validated my feelings, and let every guy who tried to date me know that "he could not afford me". I know he is old (88), but I want my grandpa to be around to see my hold my babies in my arms.
I spoke to my grandma and she said he is completely paralyzed. He has struggled with arthritis for years and it has gotten really bad. He cannot walk, use his arms/hands, use the restroom, feed himself, and so on. It is just him and my grandma and she herself struggles with health issues. Please pray for my sweet grandpa, and for strength for my grandma. They have been married for 62 years and he has always been the strong one.
Please keep the entire family in your prayers at this time. I immediately thought of you because I know the prayer warriors that you are. The Bible says as long as we touch and agree, He will show up.
Awaiting my expected end.