This is the note I created on Face.Book encouraging everyone to light a candle and remember our babies for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. Instead of writing a new post and blubbering while writing, I will just copy and paste.
Please light a candle with me tomorrow night in memory of my babies - I will be doing the same for all of you.
Did you know that by 20 weeks gestation, a baby has already developed his brain, heart, finger and hand prints, and fat cells?
Did you know that by 20 weeks, a baby is swallowing?
Did you know that if a baby is born at 20 weeks, you have to physically deliver him/her?
Did you that when delivering that baby you are taken to labor and delivery?
Do you know how it feels to hear newborn babies crying around you, when you are delivering a baby that will not survive?
Did you know that a baby born at 20 weeks, is born alive, but dies within minutes or hours from the lungs not being fully developed?
Did you know that after delivering said baby, your milk comes in?
Do you know how it feels to have your baby kick you one last time before being delivered, and you KNOW that it is the last time you will feel him/her kick?
Did you know that a baby born at 20 weeks is recognized, must be named, and buried/cremated?
Do you know that having an extremely premature baby changes you forever?
Do you know how it feels to be known as a "dead baby mama"?
Do you know how it feels to go through it twice?
Do you know how it feels to miss someone so bad before you even got to know them?
This is the reality of many women. If you take a survey, you will find many women who have lost. It is a taboo subject as many expect you to get over it and move on. Knowing this, many do not share their experience of loss as many consider it macabre. This is MY reality as well.
This time last year, I knew nothing about Thursday October 15th. It is now a day that is forever engraved in my memory. We all know someone who has had a miscarriage, a stillbirth, or have an infant die. This day is known as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.
My name is Marie, I am 25 years old and have lost TWO 20 week old babies - born too early to survive. I am forever changed. I am not the person I once was. I am more compassionate, sympathetic, I cry more, I show love more, I give thanks more, I appreciate my husband and family more. I am a mom with no children to show for it.
I am mom to two precious babies - Alyssa-Joy Katherine and Evan George born too young to survive.
If you know someone who has lost a child too early, please join in the Wave of Light tomorrow night, or please light a candle for my 2 babies. Light a candle in memory of these babies born too soon at 7:00 pm your time, and leave it burning for one hour.
Remember our babies with us, no matter how brief their time on earth was.
To Mommy, from your angel…
I once was going to be born and this I couldn’t wait,
I knew that everyone was expecting me, I would try not to be late.
But I really wasn’t sure what was on the other side,
I tried to accept what was happening but I knew I couldn’t hide.
I couldn’t help but wonder who my parents were to be,
I knew for sure that no matter what, they would always love me.
So I thought about it for awhile, but I knew I had to leave,
I went on to another place, it is so beautiful it’s hard to believe.
I had a job to do, but it wasn’t here on earth,
I am so sorry you had to miss it, the day of my birth.
I wanted so bad to stay and be at home with you,
But I knew that there was something up here that I had to do.
I am now a Guardian Angel and I hope that you are proud,
I watch over you and Daddy, I peek down through the clouds.
I hope you know how much I love you, and how hard it was to go,
I miss you so much everyday, but I am sure you already know.
So please don’t ever forget me, as I will do the same,
You know this wasn’t your fault, there is no one to blame.
God needed me to be by his side and take good care of you,
So there is no need to be sad now and no need to be blue.
If you ever get lonely, just look up at the sky,
Like if you had a thought of me or just needed to say “hi”.
I am so happy with the way things are, even though it may not seem,
I talk to you in the night time, I touch you when you dream.
I want to see the same for you, give a smile for me today,
Because I know that we will meet again in some other sort of way.
I will be up here waiting for you, to open the gates real wide
And help you come home to Heaven, to take a step inside.
I thank you for loving me so much, please believe that this is true,
And there is no one I could ever love more, Mommy, as much as I love you.
Where is my expected end?????