34 Weeks!

My new best friend. Yea.... silly me thought I would have gotten away with no stretch marks. No such luck. I literally woke up Saturday morning and wowza! There they were. Now I am diligent with applying this paste. Hopefully its not too late.


How many weeks: 34 weeks - Praise God!

How am I feeling: Excited, nervous, terrified!

Doctor’s Appointment: This morning (Last MFM appointment) and this Friday 04/01 (OB appointment).

Weight Gain: 8.5 lbs (but will know for sure after today's appointment.

Maternity Clothes: All maternity

Baby Preparation: More de-cluttering and organizing.

Gender: Boy!!! Spencer Nathan W.

Sleep: Interrupted. My nightly bathroom trips total 6 times per night between bedtime and 6:00 am

Best moment this week: Realizing Spencer is still baking away

Movement: Still seeing "waves" across my stomach as he moves. Such a wonder to watch and every time I see it I am in awe of God's creation!

Food cravings: Nothing this week (yet!).

What I miss: Getting up at night without having to wake up hubby to help me get out of the bed.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting the next milestones: 35 weeks (4 days away), and delivery (but not anytime soon!), and our 2nd baby shower this afternoon!

Milestones: Getting to 34 weeks.

I woke up Sunday morning an emotional mess. I could not stop crying. I am so grateful to have gotten this far. After losing Alyssa-Joy and Evan, we really thought we were not meant to have children, but when day after day passes and Spencer is still rolling around and God is still making a way, I feel blessed to have been given a third chance. God is indeed an awesome God and the TAC is a wonderful thing!

I will update on Friday after both appointments.

Awaiting my expected end,
Marie

Pediatrician? Check!

Thank you all so much for the questions to ask the pediatrician. As you can tell from the title, we loved him and have decided to use his practice.

Hubby and I sat down and chose the questions (from the list given) that we wanted to ask as well as some things to look for when we arrived at the office.

We chose the following and rated them on a scale from 1-10:
Proximity to home - 10 (5-10 minutes depending on traffic)
Cleanliness and set up of the office (child friendly/parent friendly) - 8. The have a sick waiting room and a well waiting room, toys and books for the kiddos, magazines and well-baby clips for the parents.
Friendliness of the office staff - 10
The wait time of the patients in the office - 8. Pretty standard. Most were called back after about 10 minutes.
Comfort and ease with the Dr. - 10
Comfort and ease with nurses - 10

Overall, they were pretty good and our consultation with the Dr. went well.
The one thing I liked was that he works out of 3 different hospitals, so we are not bound to one if an emergency arises. The only downfall is that when we deliver, one of his partners (there are 4) will attend to Spencer at the hospital and his first appointment a few days after birth. His son is getting married and he will be out of town that week.

Again, thank you so much for your help as they guided us in the right direction and we were able to find a pediatrician that we both liked (and who also comes with great referrals!).

Awaiting my expected end,
Marie

33 Weeks!

Thank you all so much for the comments and suggestions on the previous post. I tend to want to make things better and I have to learn that in her own time she will deal with her loss. Thank you all so much <3.

How many weeks: 33 weeks - Praise God!

How am I feeling: Excited, nervous, terrified!

Doctor’s Appointment: Next Wednesday 03/30 (Last MFM appointment) and Next Friday 04/01 (OB appointment).

Weight Gain: 8 lbs

Maternity Clothes: All maternity

Baby Preparation: Getting our carpets professionally cleaned and painting

Gender: Boy!!! Spencer Nathan W.

Sleep: Interrupted. My nightly bathroom trips total 6 times per night between bedtime and 6:00 am

Best moment this week: Realizing Spencer is still baking away

Movement: Still seeing "waves" across my stomach as he moves. Such a wonder to watch and every time I see it I am in awe of God's creation!

Food cravings: Jamaican Beef Patties (the spicy kind). Yum!

What I miss: Getting up at night without having to wake up hubby to help me get out of the bed.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting the next milestones: 35, weeks, and delivery (but not anytime soon!), and our 2nd baby shower next Wednesday!

Milestones: Getting to 33 weeks and fattening Spencer up to 4 pounds. Last week he weighed 4 pounds, 6 ounces!

Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes! They are greatly appreciated!

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie

On the Other Side of the Fence

My heart has been heavy lately. I am grieving for my sister and the loss of my niece or nephew. I am trying my best to support her and encourage her, but she does not want to hear it and I have no idea how to help her. I tried directing her to some support groups, blogs, and so on, and she refuses to even entertain the idea. I am at a loss for words and have no idea how else to help her. I know we all process loss differently and I am trying to help as best as I know how.

She did not attend my shower, but I expected that and let her know before hand that I would not be offended if she could not attend, because I have been there myself, where the thought of attending showers drove me into a fit of sweats. Well, she tried to come to the shower and had a breakdown in her parking lot. :-(. She refuses to be around me, and I know that the sight of my growing bump makes her relive those dark days. I understand, because I have been there. When we are together as a family and the talk turns to Spencer's upcoming arrival, she leaves the room. I have tried talking to my family to let them know to be sensitive, but their comments still hurt her. Again, I understand because I have been there.

I am afraid that she will not want to see Spencer or be in his presence because he may remind her of her loss. I am afraid that everytime she sees him, he will be a trigger. I am very sensitive to her grief, and I try my best to be there for her, but my being there will not take the hurt away.

I know she is happy for me, but I also know seeing me makes the process hard. I want her to be close to her nephew and not have the sight of him be a reminder of her loss.

I know of several BLM bloggers who have a sibling who is expecting, and though they are happy for them, they struggle being around their sibling and experience hurt by exposing their shattered hearts to the pregnancy.

For those of you who have had a sibling go through a pregnancy after your own loss, please help me. What would you have liked your sibling to do or not do around you? How would you have liked to be helped? How did you feel? Please help me. I love my sister - she was there holding my hand while delivering Alyssa-Joy and Evan - and I want to be there for her the best way I know how.

I am on the other side of the fence ---- it seems I can help others, but I cannot reach my own sister. :-(

Please help.

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie

Normal and some more questions

I had what was supposed to be my last appointment with the MFM yesterday. He declared that I was/am NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!! Praise God! We did elect to see him one more time even though he was willing to release us. We will be seeing him in two weeks for a "peace of mind" appointment and for a 3D ultrasound. Cervix measured 3.6 cm!!!! Spencer passed his BPP, cord flow was perfect, organs were perfect, everything was perfect. God is so good and we are in awe of his blessings.

Thanks for the suggestions about choosing a Pediatrician. We have an appointment with one next week and we now have tons of questions to ask. I also have some more questions tonight. I tried getting them answered, but kept getting conflicting information. So..... I am asking all of you!

1.) I am packing my hospital bag this week (yikes!). I know what to pack for me, but what about for baby?

2.) What's the usual stay in the hospital for a C-section? (MFM told me 4 days, OB told me 2)

3.) When do I put the car seat in the car?

4.) Hospital tour? Necessary or unnecessary?

5.) Nursing Bras - do I buy a size bigger than I am now or my regular size?

6.) How many onesies/blankets/bibs do I pack for the baby?

Thanks in advance!

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie

Some Shower Pics

I had an awesome shower on Saturday. Here are just a few pictures to share with you. Blogger is acting up and will not let me arrange them in order. We had an awesome time celebrating Spencer and honoring Alyssa-Joy and Evan.

What touched me the most was that my babies were included in the shower. There were pinwheels with their names on them, wind chimes (they would not stop ringing or blowing and it was not even windy!). I am so glad I was "forced" to have a shower. We were shown how truly loved and blessed we are.

Larry and I cutting the cake

My dad and Step-mom cutting Evan's cake

My grandmother cutting Alyssa-Joy's cake

Honoring Evan's memory

Honoring Alyssa-Joy's memory

Opening gifts

I had a great time!

More gifts

The blessings - we no longer have a dining room!

Larry and Me

Enjoying ourselves

Alyssa-Joy & Evan's Table

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie

32 Weeks! Next Goal Reached

How many weeks: 32 weeks - God is oh so good!

How am I feeling: Relieved that we are at an AWESOME gestation. Just need to fatten him up to 4 pounds.

Doctor’s Appointment: Tuesday (Last MFM appointment and OB)

Weight Gain: 8 lbs

Maternity Clothes: All maternity

Baby Preparation: Putting together all the "big ticket" items.

Gender: Boy!!! Spencer Nathan W.

Sleep: Interrupted because I have to wake up to turn over and once I do its hard to go back to sleep.

Best moment this week: Enjoying my shower and having Alyssa-Joy and Evan honored.

Movement: Still seeing "waves" across my stomach as he moves. Such a wonder to watch and every time I see it I am in awe of God's creation!

Food cravings: Icees (and not the caffine free kind either).

What I miss: Getting up at night without having to wake up hubby to help me get out of the bed.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting the next milestones: 35, weeks, and delivery (but not anytime soon!)

Milestones: Getting to 32 weeks and looking forward to many more to come AND actually having and enjoying our baby shower!

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie

31 Weeks!

Looking a little tired in this picture, but here it is nonetheless.

How many weeks: 31 weeks - God is oh so good!

How am I feeling: Relieved that we are at an AWESOME gestation. Just need to fatten him up to 4 pounds.

Doctor’s Appointment: Next Tuesday (Last MFM appointment and OB)

Weight Gain: 8 lbs

Maternity Clothes: All maternity

Baby Preparation: De-cluttering our Condo. Hubby is in nesting mode!

Gender: Boy!!! Spencer Nathan W.

Sleep: Interrupted because I have to wake up to turn over and once I do its hard to go back to sleep.

Best moment this week: Filling out my FMLA paperwork. My Last day at work (prayerfully) is April 22.

Movement: I think he's running out of room which now makes me nervous about the lack of weight gain? all the time. I feel nudges and punches and see "waves" across my stomach as he moves. Such a wonder to watch and every time I see it I am in awe of God's creation!

Food cravings: Icees (and not the caffine free kind either).

What I miss: Getting up at night without having to wake up hubby to help me get out of the bed.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting the next milestones: 32 weeks, 35, weeks, and delivery (but not anytime soon!) and our shower this weekend. The gifts have already started rolling and I am made aware how blessed and loved we are.

Milestones: Getting to 31 weeks and looking forward to many more to come.

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie

Woes

Sometimes it sucks to be a public servant! Don't get me wrong, I love being a special education teacher. I love seeing the students who struggle make gains by leaps and bounds and seeing the smiles on their faces when they meet with success. Its the other factors outside my classroom that makes me shudder and rethink why I chose my career.

Spencer will be on my insurance (I hope). I called our benefits department to find out what the procedure for adding him as a dependent is. I was told that there is no free coverage for him and that for the time that I will be out on FMLA (they don't cover maternity), I must pay the premium for him. The cost? $377 per month. So that $377 for May, $377 for June, $377 for July, and $377 for August when I will not be working nor receiving a paycheck. Then in September, they will deduct $571 from my first paycheck and the following months to cover the cost of his insurance. Why so much? Apparently they retro the cost back to January (when he clearly was not physically in this world) and that is why it will be sooo expensive. In January it will revert back to $377 if the cost of coverage does not increase. I can choose to go back to work 4 weeks after he arrives but that will only cover him for one month and I would still have to pay the premium.

What the heck????? I have never heard such foolishness! When I was in college and on my dad's insurance, he paid half that amount per month to cover the entire family! I am ticked off and sort of in a panic. I like being able to live off of one salary and if Spencer goes on my insurance, then that goes out the window. Considering that hubby is still unemployed and if we had not lived this way prior we would have been in big trouble this past year.

Spencer needs insurance! I have called around for independent insurance for him but he has to be 6 months or 1 year. I am praying hubby lands a job before Spencer gets here or a month after he gets here.

Have any of you ever faced this dilemma? What did you do?

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie

Questions

Hi gang!

I feel so way out of my element here. Hopefully those of you with earthly children can answer these questions for me. Thanks so much in advance!

I have to set up an appointment with a pediatrician and I keep putting it off. I have no idea what to ask. my friend Kiki pointed me in the right direction, but what other questions do I ask? What qualities make a good pediatrician?

Some other questions include;

1.) Bumper or no Bumper?

2.) Do I really need a changing table?

3.) Do I really need a bouncer AND a swing?

4.) When do I pack a hospital bag?

5.) I do not have a ceiling fan in the bedroom. Is it worth it to install one?

These are just a few that I have. I am sure more will pop up in due time.

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie

30 Weeks and More Goodies

I am skipping week 29 because it was a horrible week and I was definitely not into taking pictures. Thank you so much for the kind words and well wishes for my sister. She is still not doing so great, but we know that the prayers of the righteous availeth much. Thank you all so very much.

There seems to be joy and sorrow at the same time in our family. We are excited at the thought of Spencer's birth while mourning the loss of my niece/nephew. Praying that Spencer will be able to bring a little healing to our family and the losses we have experienced over the past few years.

How many weeks: 30 weeks! (I still can't believe it)

How am I feeling: Relieved that we are at an AWESOME gestation. Just need to fatten him up to 4 pounds.

Doctor’s Appointment: March 15th (Last MFM appointment and OB)

Weight Gain: 8 lbs

Maternity Clothes: All maternity

Baby Preparation: De-cluttering our Condo

Gender: Boy!!! Spencer Nathan W.

Sleep: Interrupted by weird dreams

Best moment this week: Knowing baby Spencer is still moving and shaking!

Movement: all the time. I don't think this child sleeps at all! I'm loving it! His movements are starting to hurt, but no complaints here!

Food cravings: Peanut Butter

What I miss: Getting up at night without having to wake up hubby to help me get out of the bed

What I am looking forward to: Meeting the next milestones: 32 weeks, 35, weeks, and delivery (but not anytime soon!) and dare I say this? Our shower next weekend.

Milestones: Getting to 30 weeks - God is oh so good!

I received a rather large package in the mail last week. Let me say Spencer is so loved by many. Kiki, an IC friend sent me a beautiful box filled with goodies for myself and Spencer. My husband stood in awe as we went through the box. Some items included a breast pump, moby wrap, nursing wrap, bottles, and so much more. Like after seeing the blanket I got from Tonya, we both broke down in tears. I have made so many awesome and endearing friends and although it saddens me to think we met under tragic circumstances, I am grateful for the friendships that have untied us through grief. My husband sat shaking his head asking "what did we do to deserve such generosity?" and all I can say is "losing our babies". Hopefully one day we can pay it forward. Thanks Kiki! We are forever grateful.

Awaiting my expected end,

Marie