New Introduction

Hey ladies! (and gents?)

Thanks for the wonderful comments on the last post. It's nice to know that I am not the only one addicted to romance novels - I love happy endings!

Off the top of my head, the books that spoke about loss are: Some.thing Real by J.J Murray (a man!), Lisa Mu.rray was the other author (I forgot the title) and I have to remember where I put the other books.

The first week back is down and it was successful! Hallelujah! They finally hired anther ESE teacher (full time) so my class load of 84 students has been cut in half. I actually have a lunch and and planning now. Lovely! I am excited for what this year holds.

I am also back in school (again-I am a life-long learner - I love learning) and one of the classes I am taking for my phD is quite unique. It deals with handling the marginal teacher as well as teachers who are angry, troubled exhausted, and just plain confused (the actual title of the class and book). In the first class, the professor asked us to take out two things out of our pocketbooks or wallets that best describe us and will let everyone know something about us that is not visible. I struggled with this simple activity because what I really wanted others to know, I was scared how it might be taken. After going back and forth, I finally gave in to that small voice.

I took out my umbrella - because you know I am always prepared :-), and I took out the little album I walk around with. My introduction was "this precious album best describes me because I am an angel mom." That's when the round of questions started. "what's an angel mom?" "is it a club?" I was only too happy to explain. After I explained I felt........ satisfied. I educated a whole classroom! Even if I only glossed over the details, I left those other professionals with something they did not know before. So the next time they hear someone say "I am an angel mom", their response will be; "I am so sorry."

Awaiting my expected end.

Even in my addictions....

I have a confession to make....... I am addicted to romance novels. Yes, it's true. I have a secret affair with romance novels that only my close family knows about (shame faced). I don't read these novels in public in fact, I read in my bedroom or on the porch
And while I am reading, Larry dare not bother me! In the past few weeks, I have read three books where pregnancy loss is mentioned. One character had two early miscarriages, one second trimester loss, and a stillbirth. The last baby was carried while on hospital bedrest, was delivered by c-section, and lived for a few minutes after birth. The reason: problems with the placenta. Another character experienced 4 miscarriages for reasons unknown. Another character had infertility treatments, one miscarriage, and one second trimester loss at 5 months after which the dr advised surrogacy or adoption. The loss at 5 months was due to IC. In this book the author described the agony the mother felt as she was miscarrying. The hopelessness, the guilt, the shame..... All the emotions we have all gone through. Of course, all these women had happy endings, but the story line itself stayed with me for days.... It makes me wonder why the authors came up with these story lines? Is it from personal experience? What would make them use such a taboo subject as part of a story line? It seems as if everywhere I turn, infertility, pregnancy and infant loss are being made aware. I shudder to think all the women (and some men) who just gloss over these story lines. Have they always been used an I have just never paid attention? Or is this something new as these things are more prevalent?

Awaiting my expected end.

Psalm 71:14

But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.

Awaiting my expected end.

Hey gang!

I am behind on blogging, reading, commenting...... the whole nine yards. The first few days back are usually crazy! Be back in a few to catch up!

Awaiting my expected end.

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That.......

Hi gang!

I am overwhelmed by all the love and kind words. You are all wonderful. Yes, as stated earlier, SIL #2 is expecting (5 weeks to be exact) and SIL #1 is due with a boy next month. At least SIL #1 was considerate enough to call and tell hubby before posting it on face.book. It made the shock a little less severe knowing it before hand.

I don't know what it is, but I rejoice when BLM and women who struggle to conceive get their BFP, but I have a hard time hearing this sort of news from those around me. Hmmmmmm...... It seems pregnant women are all around me! My spin instructor is expecting, 2 more women in my spin class are expecting (by the way, have you ever seen a heavily pregnant woman on a spin bike? Is that even safe? Keep in mind it is an advanced spin class. Oh and the irony. Here some of us are afraid to move, to sneeze, to cough, and these women are cycling at 85-100 rmp- how easy do they have it?), my SIL's are expecting..... I keep asking -whose next?

I cannot believe August is here and in less than 2 weeks I go back to work. I am a bit disappointed in myself because I did not blog as much as I wanted to. I have been reading and commenting, but during the summer a wave of laziness seems to consume me :-).

I am grateful that I still have a job when many do not, so I am actually looking forward to going back to work. Every year I vow to be a better teacher than I was the year before and this year is no different. I pray that I am a little more patient, a little more encouraging, a little more creative. I know I am going in a year older, and much wiser than the previous school year. I am now an expert at avoiding the pregnant women at work and I am going to work even harder to avoid them. The elementary school that I work at seems to be a haven for pregnant women (there is just something in the water). Every year there is at least 5 -6 that are expecting. That, I am not looking forward to.

The counseling is going great. Hubby and I are expressing our feelings more, and trying to see every "issue" from the other perspective. The counselor is great, and more importantly she is a christian counselor that reminds us of His teachings and promises for us.

Hubby still has not found a job, but it is not for a lack of trying! There is a shortage of jobs in S. Flor.ida, but we still have faith that God will provide a job that aligns with His will for Larry. Please keep him in prayer because as many of you may know, it is tough being unemployed. Especially for a man who is used to working. This particular trial has the potential to make one depressed, lowers your self-concept, and so on. So please when you enter that secret place with our Savior, please utter Larry's name. It will be greatly appreciated!

The good news is that he starts school on Monday!!!!!! Yea!!!!!!! I am so proud of him for taking that step. I have encouraged (more like nagged) him for years to go back to school. I have said over and over that many more doors will open for him, and I thank God for what he is doing. I know for a fact that as long as he was working for that particular company that he would not have gone to school, so I thank God that there is a reason and a purpose for every thing that happens, no matter how disappointed we are or how much we disagree.

Please continue to pray for victory for all those who are TTC, those who are pregnant with their rainbow baby, those who have recently had their rainbow baby, and those with recent losses. We know that having another child does not replace the pain or take away the worry, but with all of us banding together and praying, minds will be kept at ease and peace will reign in hearts. There is strength in numbers and if we all "touch" and agree, marvelous things will happen.

Awaiting my expected end.